Listen to "Strangers" here: www.soundcloud.com/drewwilliam

My concept with “Strangers” was to take a song idea that’s traditionally about courting and spitting game to a woman and relate it to the excitement and freshness that comes with learning new things about a person who you care about. The two ideas – initially meeting someone when you meet them at a bar, for example, and learning more personal things about someone whom you already know – are comparable when looked at through an optimistic lens in viewing relationships.

Therefore, the words cause the title “Strangers” to be sort of paradoxical. It typically refers to individuals who haven’t met before. In this case, I’m already with this woman and am describing how much I care for her and how excited I am to continue to learn new things about her. To keep that excitement in our relationship everyday as if it were the first time we met. And I do so in a sort of shrewd way through role-play, actually courting her as if I’ve never met her before.

I allude to the fact that I’m speaking of a woman I am already with and care for at the end of each verse. In the way it’s written, each line can be taken as if I’m meeting a woman for the first time at the bar or role-playing the dialogue with a woman who I’m already with.   

Verse 1

Why you over there? You should come here
You should come near where you’ll end up anyway
Got a few things you might wanna hear
Listen to my touch while I bite on your ear

‘Got a few things…’ begins the dual meaning of the song. It could be taken to mean that I’m kickin game to the girl to tell her why she should come home with me or that I’m telling her how much I care about her. This stanza also begins my reference to communicating with her sensually and without words. Such as, “Listen to my touch…” and “…lips”. Also saying, the smell of her fragrance is telling me something and I “Dig [her] senses…”

Listen to my lips I can feel your kiss
Smell your fragrance yeah I dig your senses
And if love’s crazy, I’m senseless
You bad girl, I’m tempted

Enforces the description above.

Not to mention the way you put it together
The rest I forget em, you I’m forever with
Walk on em I’ma talk on ya
Work those heels, suga, I just wanna flaunt ya

Here is the first place where it’s more concretely revealed that I’m speaking of someone I’m already with. I say “The rest I forget em, you I’m forever with” to exemplify my commitment. Though, in another sense, it could also be taken as a playful, intentionally shallow promise you might make to a beautiful girl the first time you meet her…that she’s so beautiful that you could marry her or that you never want her to walk out of your life, etc. I then say “Walk on em I’ma talk on ya” to mean that she’s figuratively walking all over other women. None can compare, but she doesn’t need to spend her time boasting to other girls because she’s humbly confident. That’s why I say I’ll “talk on ya” in the way that I brag to the others about her, for her. The figurative walking is then related to how good she looks, literally, walking in heels “Work those heels…”. Then, “I just wanna flaunt ya” brings the idea together by saying that I flaunt her, in a way, both figuratively and literally. First, by bragging about her and, next, by proudly having her on my arm.

And she calls me by full name, that’s the difference
Nobody else got the privilege
Lil’ cute smile lookin innocent
But I watch her kill em all I’m a witness

Throughout the song, I move in and out of talking to her directly, referring to her as “you” and indirectly, referring to her as “her”. This is meant to show that I’m not just gassing her up and kicking game to her in person, I also say these things in an objective situation to other people. Describing to other people what someone means to you is often more telling than the way you might describe it to the person themself. So, “she calls me by full name” means that she knows me well and sees me as the person I am, rather than calling me by a nickname or stage name. In the other sense, someone you’re meeting for the first time typically calls you by your formal name. It works in that way as well. I then play on her seductiveness. She looks so cute and innocent, but she’s, figuratively, killing other girls who compete with her in beauty and the way she carries herself. In assigning a literal meaning to the two lines, it comes full-circle. She looks innocent, but she kills these other girls, as a murderer would. I’m a witness in the way that I see her shine next to other girls.

So lost in your eyes
Look both ways when you’re crossin my mind
Think about you like all of the time
Your voice sounds best when you’re callin mine

“Look both ways…” is meant to be personified as if she’s actually in my mind and should be careful when crossing my mind by looking both ways. “Your voice sounds best when you’re callin mine” continues on in dual meaning as a person just meeting someone at the bar could say such a thing to refer to a one night stand they would like to have with the woman. In my case, it refers to me loving the way she says my name when she talks to me. There are certain people who say your name and it just sounds and feels right. That’s an example of the subtle hints that I’ve always tried to be attuned to in relationships.

And I heard you’re into poetry
If I wrote this song would you notice me?
My baby, that’s got a ring to it
Your left hand next, that’s gotta ring to it

Saying “I heard you’re into poetry” is a playful way of approaching her interest in poetry and other intellectual things. It follows that, one, this song is my form of poetry and, two, that I wrote this song for her. It can be taken as me hypothetically writing a song for someone I just met “If I wrote…” or hinting that I actually wrote this song for the woman I’m speaking to. Here, the final line of this verse is when it’s finally confirmed that I’m speaking to someone who I already know well and care for a lot. Directly hinting at marriage is something I would only do with someone I had a deep relationship with. It plays on the phrase “that’s got a ring to it” against the literal meaning.


Verse 2

Can I get a dose of, your love
Your touch, your blush, it’s never too much
Always just right, never not mine
Goddess of fine, Aphrodite in a past life

In the first two stanzas here, I compare her characteristics to fine wine. I say “a dose” to relate her love to a sip of and infer that it’s almost potion-like. The perfect touch and blush are words that have meaning in a very human sense, but also in the sense of wine’s taste and touch on your lips and mouth, as well as blush wine. I go on to compare her ‘Always just right’ perfection to a goddess. The goddess of beauty=fine, being Aphrodite.

She’s the one don’t ask twice
Slow whine got me givin up the fast life
Fine wines get better with time
In my eyes I could never deny her

I start here by playing ‘twice’ off of ‘one’ in different contexts. The second line continues this playing by using ‘slow whine’ to contrast with ‘fast life’…’whine’ as in the way she moves has me giving up the fast life of partying, being single, and chasing other girls. I continue in comparing her to wine in saying ‘fine wines get better with time’ to confirm that I’ve given up chasing other girls because of my commitment to her. She and our relationship are only going to get better with time.

So real, so pure, I prefer
Other women talk, me I refer them
Lost on purpose, me I’m certain
Death to the rest of these girls #curtains

I link the wine theme to the next two stanzas by saying ‘so real, so pure…’. Then, ‘Other women talk…’ as in they attempt to talk to me, but I refer them to other men who aren’t taken, as I am. ‘Lost on purpose…’ in the sense that, often times, women might act like they’re lost to start a conversation with you. An underlying meaning is that many women who are out at the bar partying and not settled down are sort of figuratively lost in that they don’t know what they want so they hook up with random men at a bar in the meantime. ‘I’m certain’ because I’m both intolerant of these types of women and certain about the way I feel about this woman, in particular. As a result, ‘Death to the rest…’

No flaws, she’s perfect
No runway, she work it
Lord have mercy please don’t hurt me
Curves to the hips to the purse on her wrist

I begin to explain how she has the total package here. Her walk…she works it like a model with no runway. Not only physical beauty in her ‘curves to the hips’ but her fashion sense and other unforeseen qualities such as me noticing the ‘purse on her wrist’.

Blow me a kiss when you’re pursing her lips
I’m in the middle I’m immersed in the midst
I testify and defer with the fifth
Put it on my life cause she’s worth all the risk

I’m consumed with her or ‘immersed in the midst’ of her beauty. I allude to not being afraid to tell people everything about her ‘I testify and defer with the fifth’ as in, speaking and not utilizing my right to avoid testifying. I not only am not afraid to tell people, but I’m also not afraid to speak candidly and emotionally about her in the way I ‘put it on my life…’. This also plays and refers back to the criminal metaphor in verse one.

I do time in exchange for your promise
That’s the truth like honesty
You know you got me right where you want me
Right where I should be and wrong’s where I won’t be

Continuing on with this idea, I end verse two in a similar way to verse one. ‘I do time…’ in committing to her in ‘exchange for [her] promise’ or her commitment to me. To end, much like, ‘one’ vs. ‘twice’ and the ‘slow’ vs. ‘fast’, I playfully pit the opposites of ‘right’ vs. ‘wrong’ to infer that I’m going to be with this woman and not with others. Because she is what’s ‘right’ and they are what’s ‘wrong’.

Listen to "Highbrow" here: www.soundcloud.com/drewwilliam

Highbrow. A term used to describe something of elite class or taste. Highly cultured or educated, so they say. And that’s exactly the message this song is intended to convey. It’s a rebellion, of sorts, against the status quo, or what’s consumed and praised in our society as being art, when, in fact, little creativity has been put forth to create much of what’s popular and paid for in music today. That’s why I unapologetically say that the imagination and composition of this song, and everything else I’m doing musically on this mixtape, is simply above the rest. Of superior quality? I’ll let you decide. In better taste? Absolutely.

And that’s why I loved the sentiment of this track, “Martians vs. Goblins” by The Game featuring Lil’ Wayne and Tyler The Creator. It’s not only in-your-face, rebellious, and unapologetic, but it’s built around a hook that says “We are not the same, I am a Martian.” That’s precisely how I feel about this song and my music. That I’m not even different from other hip-hop artists in the sense of humans being different from one another, I’m an entirely different species in the way I create and what I write about it. Tastes in music differ and it’s difficult to be entirely objective. With that, my goal in creating music is not necessarily to get you to like it, but more so, to make you acknowledge the fact that I’m different and play by my own rules.

Verse 1

I used to be ashamed of the skill, but now I'm flauntin it
Errin on the side of arrogant and overconfident. STOP
I see you all standin there in astonishment
That silence is flattery, I take it all as a compliment

I said this song was unapologetic. You don’t have to go any further than the first line or two to realize that. This first stanza really hits on embracing being unique. I remember being ashamed of rapping for some time. The stereotypes of a white hip-hop artist are endless. And that’s one of the things that’s really fucked up about us, that we don’t embrace people being different and trying new things much of the time, particularly in the Midwest and Indiana, where I grew up. That caused me to be very private about my music and afraid of being judged. However, when you learn to cope with those factors, you realize how ridiculous they are. So now that I’ve been suppressed for so long, I’m compensating for that lost time by being completely the opposite. Arrogant and overconfident. When I used to be ashamed about rapping in front of people when they looked on quiet and “astonished”, I now embrace that as a being a compliment and meaning that the silence indicates that they only think that I’m that unexpectedly good.

Maybe cause I travel the world to different continents
My view is lookin better than yours, I'm not apologizing
Europe in the mornin, Asia for the nightcap
You think this shit a game, I'll show pictures from the flight deck

Here, I begin to ponder why people see me as being different and are surprised that I’m a hip-hop artist. Maybe it’s because I’m well-cultured and -traveled when most independent hip-hop artists aren’t? I won’t apologize for that, however, because I attained my views, status, and travel experience through hard work of my own. Of course, views can be taken in the sense that I’m seeing incredible views by traveling abroad or that I’ve acquired a very unique perspective by doing so. I say “Europe in the morning, Asia for the nightcap” to illustrate just how well-traveled I am. However, that was, in fact, a real experience of mine when I visited Istanbul, Turkey this past year. I spent half of the day in Europe and then crossed the continental line to spend the second half in Asia. I have pictures from both sides to prove it, I say, meaning that the line is not meant to be merely symbolic of how well-traveled I am.

They say Istanbul is the new Paris
7:00 A.M., I'm still on Taksim and not carin
If you don't get it now, settle down your embarrassment
Just rewind and play it all back in 5 years for clarity

Continuing on with specifics of my travel and experience in Istanbul…I’ve read and heard opinion that Istanbul is the new Paris. It’s been said to be the next great city in terms of culture, dining, nightlife, etc. (GQ: Is This the Next Paris?) I use this as a representation of how far I’m ahead of the competition. Not only am I ahead of you in my experiences and perspective in traveling abroad, but I’m even thinking ahead to visit cities that are on the cusp of popularity and are still hidden gems. Taksim Square is the area of culture and nightlife in the new section of Istanbul. Once again, I say that, beyond metaphors, I really did spend my time in Istanbul unapologetically partying until 7:00 AM. Since Istanbul hasn’t gained the popularity of Paris or other well-known international cities, I say that I don’t expect you to understand my travels or lyrics at the moment if you aren’t cultured. You shouldn’t be embarrassed because not many people do. You can just play this song again in five years and everything I’ve talked about will have come to fruition, both in the sense of Istanbul and what I’m talking about as an artist.

I'm just a little more artful like The Dodger
Women on the text, I twist em up like Oliver
And all of em say that I’m the one they thinkin bout all the time
But all of my thought devoted to gettin all of what I desire

Continuing on from the previous stanza, I say not to be embarrassed about not seeing what I do because it’s normal. Sarcastically, I say not to be embarrassed because I’m just a little more artful than you are in the way I put everything together cleverly. Artful like “The Artful Dodger” from the Charles Dickens story “Oliver Twist”. I continue this wordplay by saying that I have women all twisted up over me like Oliver. They say they’re thinking of me all of the time, but it can be inferred that my thought isn’t devoted to them because I desire success and whatever else is truly important, not talking to and being with random women.

Verse 2

I light it up like Edison
Obsessed with success, you could call it a fetish then
No whips, no chains. I don’t need to show thangs off when the flow’s propane
Go and get some more bling

I won’t insult you by breaking down lines one or two. In line three, I take this idea of the level of my obsession with success being a fetish to poke fun at some of the clichés in hip-hop. I say no whips or no chains as an example of taking a common sex fetish. No whips and no chains in the literal S&M sense, but also in the sense of saying that I don’t need to talk about or have cars (whips) or jewelry (chains) to prove how successful I am. I measure success by what one achieves, not by what one possesses. So I don’t need those things when my raps are explosive, “flow’s propane”, and are of substance. Jokingly, I hint at telling those artists that it doesn’t matter if they buy more luxuries, go ahead because they still don’t have the substance or skill that I do.

I don’t respond to no-names
Quote, unquote ballers are always the ones with no game
Call it what you want, but I’m proud of the fact I’m so vain
I don’t need to help, kill yourself #Cobain

Most people who question my music are the same ones who embrace those things that I listed above. Though, I don’t respond to or make music for those people because rappers who talk about those clichés are nothing to me, “no names”. I say this because, in my experience, it’s always been the individuals who talk the most, that truly own or have accomplished the least. I qualify the statement by saying it may seem like what I’m saying is attacking another brand of hip-hop and simply acting “vain” like I’m above talking about those things. My response is, if you’d call it vain, then I’m proud of being vain. I’m proud of being whatever I am, because it’s unique and it challenges the status quo. And that’s the essence of the song. We don’t question enough in our society sometimes. We don’t push people to explain themselves. Artists, politicians, and others simply get away with giving really vague answers. So I end by insinuating that, eventually, everyone gets exposed. So the lack of content and talking about whatever is in the moment is only going to hurt these artists in the long run. My time spent pointing out what I disagree with is irrelevant, because, in the end, it’s gonna be their own decisions that lead to their demise. Much like the rock icon of my generation, Kurt Cobain, took his own life.

Foreign chicks on foreign trips, important shit
I’m pennin hits like Sorkin is, immortal shit
My head is gettin too big, but I’m still absorbin it, exorbitant narcissism
Creepin in now I’m sure of it and still I’m seekin more of it

I continue on by saying that I’m just doing me after the previous conclusion. I say “I’m pennin hits like Sorkin is” to compare the quality of my songwriting to that of the screenplay writing of Aaron Sorkin - perhaps the most well-known writer in Hollywood at the moment. I say, “Immortal shit”. because I believe that, unlike any other profession, writers are the most immortal. Legendary athletes, for instance, have tremendous careers, but their work is always surpassed and irrelevant in the future. Writers, on the other hand, not only have their legacies, but also their works, which are cherished and adapted for ages. That’s how I look at my songwriting, by asking whether or not future generations would admire it.

Sick and tired of this boring shit talkin all about clichés
It’s all the same now every verse is a replay
Swear I’m a star and I do it with no teammates
Cause I don’t need a three way to create like D Wade

To end, I say that I feel like every hip-hop verse is a reply in the way that all of the same things are talked about over and over again. Often times, it’s difficult for me to distinguish between hip-hop artists at the moment, so many of them have the exact same brand. I then pay homage to the old days and poke fun at the way artists have so many features on their albums nowadays because they can’t stand on their own…”I do it with no teammates…” I compare this trend in music to basketball. Say what you will about Jordan, Bird, some of the greats, but they had that competitive spirit to win on their own. They had help, no doubt, but they made their teammates into hall of famers and did things the right way. Despite the fact that the Miami Heat won a championship this year, I feel like they sold out and diminished the integrity of the game in many ways. That’s why I take this dig at D. Wade and the Heat by acknowledging that I might fail in what I’m accomplishing with my music, but at least I didn’t sell out and hire help to get it done. I’ll do it the right way, on my own as an independent artist.

Via Kate Roth @ http://www.katerothwrites.blogspot.com/

It's no secret that I am inspired by music in my writing. I'm also inspired by people like me. People who live regular lives and have normal jobs but pursue creative endeavors with drive and passion. So, that being said I introduce you to Drew William. He's a 26 year old Indiana native, songwriter and hip-hop artist who is also earning his MBA at Vanderbilt University. I've known him for quite a few years now and even got to play one of his first songs at my wedding! He was nice enough to grant me an interview and I am thrilled to share our conversation with you. 

So much of what he has to say, I can relate to as a fellow creative type. His candor and answers may change the way you look at hip-hop music and the people of my generation. Not only is he incredibly well spoken and grounded, he is also a very talented musician. Be sure to check out the links to his music at the end of the interview.




Have you always been interested in music? When did you start pursuing it more seriously? Did something cause you to want to delve deeper into music despite your other career plans?

As a listener, yes, I’ve always been very interested in music. Some of my first memories are from when I was 5 or 6 years old listening to my parents’ Monkeys records with them. I also remember calling in to a local radio station late at night with my brother and requesting “Downtown” by Petula Clark. My favorite song for the longest time as a child was “Two Faces” by Lou Christie. Which is hilarious if you know that record. I guess the point is, I’ve always had a pretty unexpected and eclectic taste in music and it’s always been distinct in my memory, not because my parents were big music fans or I was exposed to it all of the time, but just because I feel like there’s some kind of natural fit there that exists between me and music.

Another part of the equation is that my brother played in bands while I was growing up and would always sit around strumming a guitar, etc. He’s definitely been a huge influence on me and my musical taste in the way we’ve been able to share music and communicate why we like something. That’s ultimately, why I started to pursue music more seriously. Because he was so good at producing sounds and more so, sounds that I enjoyed, that I really felt compelled to find a way to fit what he was doing lyrically.

I sang in choir toward the end of elementary school and played clarinet in middle school. Also hilarious. But, it’s funny that those experiences have really equipped me well for rapping in the way that I know how music is read and understand tempo and rhythm, unlike rappers who just pick it up. Rapping just happened. I can carry a tune, but I’ve never had a voice melodically to set myself apart in singing. Rapping made sense because hip-hop was my generation’s rock and roll in a lot of ways. I grew up on the Def Jam era in music that served as the perfect form of rebellion for me and my friends. From there, I quickly found that I was just better at it than most and kept getting better.

So, the reason that I began to delve more into it is kind of two-fold. One, like most artists, writing is an outlet for me. It helps me to put my mind in a space that I wouldn’t otherwise go and kind of explore ideas and concepts in my head that stretch beyond everyday thought. And with that, I really get inspired and play off of other music I hear since I’m a music head to start with. Second, however, is that I live for the feedback I get from people who listen to my music. Not in the sense that I thrive off of compliments and people telling me that I’m good at what I do, but in hearing people tell me how they interpret different lyrics and the enjoyment they get from hearing certain songs, etc. As great as it is to have people understand your songwriting, it’s equally as gratifying to hear people who interpret your lyrics in a way different from what you intended. There’s really no greater feeling than knowing that you provoked thought. I’ve always said that if our music positively impacted one person, then it would all be worth it. I mean, that’s changing the world and the outcome of history in a way. I look at it on that scale. So, those are things that keep me going and have made me more involved in the craft.

How do you balance your school life/studies and working on your music?

It’s not easy. Going to graduate business school has been more academically rigorous than I could have imagined. In many ways, it’s more difficult to pursue music than when I worked full-time professionally just from a pure time commitment standpoint. It’s not just class, but it’s out of class work, it’s meetings, it’s networking events, and on and on. It can be difficult to have a life, let alone a hobby. So, since my brother and I both have pretty similar demands in terms of school as he’s a PhD student at UCLA, we’ve utilized holiday breaks and the summer to get the bulk of our music done. I think it’s been good for us in that it gives you a way to recharge and find inspiration as it comes rather than forcing creativity.

The flipside of that, however, is that what we do is just like anything. The more you do it, the better you become. I always try to keep in mind the Malcolm Gladwell book Outliers, as it provides undeniable anecdotal evidence as to how world class whatevers get to be so good. And it’s ultimately because they’ve put thousands and thousands of hours into getting better. There’s no secret to it. Another quote I always think about is “Hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard.” We’re blessed that we’re talented enough to get in the door, but we think we have a huge upside because we simply haven’t had the time to devote to it that we’d like to. But we’re exploring ways to account for that and find a happy medium at the moment.

I know your brother has been pretty involved in your music, what do your parents think?

I always say my brother is at least half of the operation. Not only because he produces every one of the instrumental tracks, but because those tracks and his ideas serve, in a lot of ways, as the source of inspiration for my writing. He may be the only person on this planet who understands my musical taste and what I’m trying to do as an artist.

My parents have always been supportive of what we do. I don’t know that they get it in a lot of ways because it’s difficult for their generation to understand hip-hop. It’s really different from anything that they like or were impacted by growing up. So, their support is really more about them being very happy and proud that their sons are pursuing a creative endeavor and have something that they’re passionate about and believe in.

It’s all the same to me. I don’t expect them to understand some of things our generation does. But I’m very grateful that they kind of support it blindly in that way and have shown that they’ll be proud of us regardless. The background on my phone is a picture of me performing in front of 300 or 400 people with a mic in my hand and my Mom in the background smiling as she watches. I look at that every day as a reminder that she’s going to be proud of me and support me no matter what I do in life.

What/who inspires you?

First and foremost, it’s those listeners that I mentioned earlier and the feeling that they give me that no one or nothing else can. My brother is a huge influence, as I’ve said. And that extends beyond what he does musically. It’s really about the way that he’s shown me the way to attain my goals and how to want more for myself. It’s not difficult to end up in graduate business school when you grow up with someone whose intellect and aspirations are PhD-level. My parents inspire me not musically but by the way they’ve sacrificed over the years. There have been countless examples of them doing the right thing at their own expense. They’re the type of people who make you want to make the world a better place.

To that point, I’m always inspired by people around me who just work hard without complaint. That includes a lot of my colleagues, friends, etc. I’m also inspired by people who are unexpectedly down-to-earth. I’ve had the privilege just this year of meeting some very important people in country music while in Nashville. And one or two of them have given me their time and talked to me at the level they would a family member. That’s the kind of stuff that makes you want to be a better artist and professional.

Artistically, however, I’m very inspired by Drake. He’s not only better than just about anyone else out there as a rapper, but he continues to try new things and really push music into a new space. He’s the most relatable artist to me in that he really represents much of what I do. Being vulnerable, having uncertainty about the future, acknowledging that we all have many different sides and emotions as human beings. He’s one year younger than me, but understands what it means to have grown up when I did. You know, we grew up with the Internet and everything’s naturally so much more transparent than it ever has been. We’re more empowered and driven than ever as a result, but we’re also very vulnerable and susceptible to damage. No generation of the past has had to deal with what we have in those ways.

It’s so difficult to put yourself out there as an artist nowadays because it’s so easy to find out so much about you. There are few secrets. And no secrets when you’re a superstar. In fact, I love this line Drake has in the song “Lord Knows” when he says “…They takin greats from the past and compare us. I wonder if they’d ever survive in this era. In a time when it’s recreation to pull all your skeletons out the closet like Halloween decorations…” It takes an entirely different level of tolerance and discipline to remain grounded as a celebrity today. The public can now sit behind this façade that the Internet has created and just spew hate at artists and discourage what they do. Not many people understand the significance of that. But it’s really resulted in the demise of a lot of exceptionally talented artists in the last 5 or 10 years who simply don’t know how to handle what accompanies fame now.

Other sources of inspiration are my favorite R&B songwriters who really understand the intricacies of creating a song, beyond just piecing together lyrics. Those favorites are Miguel, The-Dream, and Rico Love. Ryan Leslie is a brilliant guy as well. Plays all of his own instruments, sings, raps, creates the whole body of work on his own. But I like him more because he actually graduated from Harvard and chose to pursue music instead of a traditional career. Another guy kind of like that is my brother and I’s favorite producer at the moment, Clams Casino. He really just started making beats while he was in college and got really good at it. Now he’s one of the best and does it for a living. So all of those guys inspire me, guys who value education but make sacrifices for their passion. That’s where I lie myself.

I often feel like non-creative people have a hard time understanding artists and their craft. Did you/ Do you ever struggle with people not taking you seriously? How do you overcome that?

Absolutely. I think that feeling is even intensified for me because I deal with so many stereotypes related to being a white person who raps. I think what makes it most difficult is that many people assume that if you’re doing something in the entertainment space, like making music, that you have these delusions of making it big and becoming a star. And that’s what you want. That’s what your goal is. When, in fact, I do it for completely the opposite reason. I do it because I enjoy it and it’s an outlet. I’ve never wanted to make any money from it. And one of my greatest fears is attaining fame, regardless of why. So, I struggle with that a lot in a just being subjected to people’s comments and dispositions towards it.

Most people don’t truly understand the vulnerability that accompanies creating something in the arts and then sharing it with people, in a lot of cases, with people who you don’t know at all. That’s all I’ve really ever wanted from listeners is not for them to like my music, but to understand and be sensitive to the chance I’m taking on myself. That stuff takes its toll on you and really can work to temper your ambitions. One way I’ve dealt with it is by relying on people who I really trust and understand. My brother and some close friends have always kind of been the people to stand by me and tell me to keep going no matter what. The other way is by really just forcing myself into maintaining an unwavering self-believe in the face of tough circumstances. And with that, knowing that I stand to benefit much more as a human being by putting myself out there and taking chances than otherwise. I look at it in those terms a lot of times. What do I have to gain as a human being vs. what do I have to lose as an individual?

People might wonder why you would give your album away for free online. Explain why you did that.

It comes down to the cost/benefit of recouping costs and providing access. As I stated earlier, we’ve never been in this to make money. We did, however, have our album available for sale to start in order to both recoup the costs of recording the first album and fund future projects. We waited six months after release date to make a decision on what to do. I didn’t recoup the costs, but decided that it was much more important to build interest in and gain exposure for what we’re doing, especially in light of the fact that we’ve recorded some new material since the album. I want to remove any barriers that prevent potential listeners from hearing our music. So, we’re working to move into more channels and make everything more available. We’re at a bit of a crossroads as to whether we’re going to amp everything up and really try to make this a sustainable business model or whether we can find a more cost-effective way of continuing on as is. As of now, it’s best to get it to the people who want to hear it and allow consumers to make the choice of whether or not they’d like to pay for it. It’s still available for sale on iTunes, as well as for free download. This digital music movement is a fickle thing. We're learning, just as music execs still are today, what the best way to price and present our music is.

Name an artist or band that your fans might be surprised to hear you like (aka a guilty pleasure)

I’m usually pretty open about my liking of stuff people might find to be pretty embarrassing. It would definitely be something pop, however, because I’m a huge fan of pop music. Just yesterday, I heard the new Justin Bieber single “Boyfriend”. Not even as a listener, but as a writer and artist, I think that’s a super dope record. And I love the direction they’re going with his brand. I think he has the opportunity to become an artist that males like. And I think you’ll see that happen increasingly over the next five years or so. He’s got some really smart people in his corner.

The two more consistent ones that come to mind are Katy Perry and the Black Eyed Peas. What people don’t understand is that these pop music producers are truly some of the best musical minds in the world. The guy that’s behind all of the latest Katy Perry and Pink songs, and everything else on the radio is a guy named Dr. Luke. Phenomenal, phenomenal producer and writer but he’s not well-known amongst listeners. And he’s even produced stuff for Mos Def, Three 6 Mafia, Weezer, artists you wouldn’t guess. But he takes some heat because he’s a radio guy.

Same thing with Will.I.Am of the Black Eyed Peas. People knock him because he’s primarily on top 40 songs. And that’s what the group’s sound is. The guy’s an absolute genius though. He knows precisely what listeners want to hear. That’s been my big thing with music lately. I used to be kind of a snob and not acknowledge anything on the radio. Now I hate those people. There are these two schools of thought. One thinks that everything on the radio is far worse than it really is and the other thinks everything independent or not on the radio is far better than it really is. I try really hard to not get caught up in that, because it’s easy to.

There are a lot of really great records that are on the radio. And they deserve to be there. There are also a lot of really great records that don’t get radio play for whatever reason. But let’s not let these irrelevant factors dictate our tastes in music. In regard to the Bieber record, it’s well-written, with a bad ass track, and he sounds great on it. What are you so afraid of liking? Music isn’t made for certain people to like it. There may be a target audience, but it’s made for whoever gets enjoyment from it. That’s it.

What do you do to prepare yourself before writing? How do you get in the right head space?

I really don’t have any sort of ritualistic behavior. At this point, I have the luxury of not having to meet deadlines most of the time. So it’s more me taking advantage of and running with moments of inspiration. Many times, I’m just driving and not thinking about music at all and an idea pops into my head. Then, it just kind of starts flowing and I’ll try to run with it that day and jot notes into my phone or come home and flesh the idea out in writing. What’s more important to me than anything is just realizing when I’m in that zone. And then capitalizing on it. I’m very aware of not rushing and forcing ideas. But creating in music, I would argue, is much more about feel and perceiving what’s in the music than authoring a book and painting, etc., which are more kind of internal struggles with yourself. I will say, however, that I always write standing up and pacing. That’s something that’s always helped me in idea generation of any kind. And I always write either on a computer or on the iPhone, never pen and paper anymore.

What is your creative process? Do words or beats come first?

It’s probably a lot more tactical and thought-out than most people may think. I have a huge advantage in that the man who creates all of my instrumentals is my brother. So it all usually begins with a phone conversation between us in which we throw out some ideas and roughly define the direction that we’re going to go in with the song musically and content-wise. Then, he’ll throw together a sample loop of the verse and hook. I take that and begin to develop the writing of the song. What the final concept is going to be and how I’m going to structure. Usually, as I start my process, we’re going back and forth deciding what needs to be done to the track and it’s developed further and further until I settle on specific lyrics and he’s settled on a final composition and we’re ready to record. It’s kind of a parallel process that he and I take on simultaneously. Which is great because I think we both really feed off of each other’s ideas and it shows in the final product. I’m very particular about not writing anything until I hear the actual music. The rough idea generation goes on before that. But I won’t actually put words to the ideas and hone everything in until I hear the track. And that’s because I think songwriting has to be very genuine and honest. And the only way to truly capture that is when you’re in the moment of what the music is inspiring you to do. I think that shows through in a lot of hip-hop songs that don’t do that. It feels very detached. But that process of writing to the music, or along with the development of it, is pretty standard with all of the great R&B, pop, and country songwriters. I’ve had full ideas that served as the basis for creating a song and then I’ll get the track from my brother and I scrap the idea completely when I hear it.

What advice would you give to others who have a creative dream that maybe doesn't fall in line with their day-to-day careers?

As I’ve sort of alluded to earlier, I think what’s most important about putting your craft into perspective is to think about it in a gain frame rather than a loss frame. For me, I can look at what I do and question why I’m subjecting myself to the vulnerability and worry about guarding against colleagues knowing what I do. Look at the resources, in time and money, that I’m devoting to doing this. Or, I can say “Hey, I’m getting to perform impromptu in front of hundreds of people as a result of this. And that’s had an immense impact on my public speaking ability and confidence as an individual.” I’ve gotten to meet people and develop relationships, have conversations that I never would have had if I didn’t do this. It’s made my relationship with my brother that much tighter. I’m better at using criticism to improve and have developed creative ideas that have helped me to develop ideas in business. I think it’s easy for a lot of artists or creative people, no matter what their craft is, to judge their work on external criteria – reviews, how much money and fame you attain, etc. But when you focus on the intrinsic benefits that you get and how valuable those are, that helps you to make much better sense of it all and continue on undeterred.

Where can people find your music and more about you? (link me to whatever you have, soundcloud, itunes, your personal web page and facebook)

Music

Barometer for purchase on iTunes:

http://itunes.apple.com/us/album/barometer/id456126316

Listen to and download each song from Barometer:

http://www.reverbnation.com/drewwilliam

Listen to and download each song that’s been released subsequent to Barometer:

http://soundcloud.com/drewwilliam

Social Media

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/thedrewwilliam

Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/drewwillmusic

Blog: http://thedrewwilliam.blogspot.com/

Website

The hub for all things Drew William will be coming this Summer 2012:

www.thedrewwilliam.com

As you read, you can listen to and reference the song Catch-22 right here:

www.soundcloud.com/drewwilliam

Intro
The concept for this song really came about no sooner than the day I received the track from my brother. Musically, the track was so addictive to me. Which isn't strange in itself, but it was in that it wasn't a happy or energetic addiction in any way. It wasn't bringing about positive feelings within me. Rather, to me, it embodied all of these painful emotions - melancholy, heartbreak, regret, etc. But despite feeling those emotions that we all work to avoid, I couldn't pull myself away from the song, which was a little puzzling to me. But I think what I ultimately realized was that the song also has this underlying aggression and fight in it. And because of it, I thought the song really talked to me in the way that it made me feel very human, yet also very inspired.

My brother and I have had conversations before about how when we're feeling down or a little depressed, we both like to really embrace those feelings. We aren't the type to act like something bad didn't happen or counter how we're feeling with forced happiness. We like to (pardon my lack of tact) get intoxicated and really drown ourselves in sorrow. One thing my father has always told me is that you can't appreciate the good days without experiencing the bad. And I've always really tried to understand that.

But that is precisely what this track made me do, it made me feel full of sorrow, but I wanted to run towards it, not away from it. And as I went through the writing process, I took the way I was feeling while listening to that and applied the idea to this concept of a "catch-22" in the sense of love, which occurs when you wrongfully or regretfully fall in love with someone. The gist of the meaning is that we've most all had someone who we were (or thought we were) in love with who left us in some way or at least failed to reciprocate the feelings that we felt towards them. The catch-22 is that we feel as if we can't live on without them in our lives, but then if we run back to them or they fall back into our lives, we realize that we can't survive with them in our lives either. And this could be for myriad reasons, depending on the situation. So it follows that we shouldn't be in love with that person because it's simply not meant to be.

But the concept applies not only to one particular person, but the concept of being in love in general. It's something that I can't do with and I can't do without, it seems. I love the freedom and independence that comes with being single most of the time, but I also have many moments when I long for something more. When I wrote this song, I kept thinking about this definition of love that's out there...how love is, in many ways, illogical or counter-intuitive, borderline insanity physiologically. When you're in love, you do things that don't make sense or they go against what your brain would suggest is the best decision. So I took those ideas within the frame of a past relationship. I then wove in applicable experiences with other women to represent how I feel and what I've learned as an individual to this point to tell this story, which I believe many of you can relate to.    

(Verse 1)
Sittin back in my living room
With a little ice and a lot of goose
But really all I wanted was a little you

So we begin with a scene that has me sitting alone at home reflecting on what happened and how it all went wrong with my relationship. Also, thinking about what could have been and what I did wrong. I think that's the natural thought when something like this doesn't work out - what did I do wrong? But whether it's this situation or another, it often has nothing to do with us. Other people have their own issues and there uncontrollable external factors in this world. Yet, we all have this compulsion to place the bulk of the blame on ourselves. It's no coincidence that I'm sitting alone, that's how this breakup has left me, both literally and figuratively. As, I alluded to in the intro, this is me embracing the pain, drowning my sorrows in pure alcohol, without dilution. I play on these opposites of "a little" and "a lot." The first time to convey that I'm extremely intoxicated while I'm thinking/writing, the second to be kind of ironic in that I can have all of the vodka and physical things that I want, but I can't even have a little piece of this woman. And those intangible things - love, affection, commitment - are what really are important and worthwhile.

I guess it was a little too much to ask
I took a chance, showed my hand
Damn, wish that I could have that back
3 years of my life, could I have those too?


Continuing on with the opposites, I say (sarcastically) that I guess asking for even a little piece of her love was too much. Taking a chance, or 'showing my hand', like in poker, is meant to communicate that I put myself out there to this woman, either told her I loved her, asked her to marry me, etc...some type of commitment. And she rejected that offering in some way. Our first instinct when that happens is to want to take it back. But if we really didn't mean it, we wouldn't have done it in the first place. So that instinct is merely from embarrassment and shame. Though we should never be ashamed or embarrassed of being honest. That's one thing I really try to work on as an individual. Accepting inevitable failures and learning from them. And I not only ask for the commitment back because I feel foolish and very hurt that this woman didn't reciprocate, but I also ask for the last 3 years of my life back (sarcastically) because my reaction, since things didn't work out, is to treat all of the time I put into the relationship as a waste.

And that's on top of all the shit I knew
And all those lies, they become the truth
And all denial, it becomes the proof
As if I didn't already have enough shit to prove


This is where it's revealed that I was wrongfully in love. I was forcing the commitment I offered. The truth starts to pour out. The fact that this woman rejected me was really just the start. You're then lead to believe that I've known that she was unfaithful or used me and I chose to overlook it. All the lies I heard from other people I didn't want to believe. But now I'm willing to acknowledge their validity. All the denial that I had in considering what was really going on ultimately became the proof to me for how I was wrongfully in love with this woman. And so I vent that on top of all of these things I have to prove to myself - professionally, academically, personally, to family and friends, and all of the other pressures that come with life, she made me prove that she wasn't who I thought she was. And all of these things convey how I was caught in a Catch-22. I knew deep down that all of these things were true, but it still took me this long to finally convince me that I didn't love her.

So this is farewell
All that ink on the page represents what my lips couldn't tell ya
Man, I feel like a failure
What I knew so well lookin far from familiar


This stanza is a sign of a breakthrough for me, which really sets the tone for this rest of the song. Acknowledging that this was all my fault, not because I treated her wrongly, but because I allowed myself to believe that I was in love with her when I wasn't. And the song is sort of my vow to never allow it to happen again. So I end things once and for all, in the form of a letter. I write to her because 1: I'm angry with her and have no interest in speaking with her in person, but also 2: Because I know that if I see her, there's a chance that I may fall for her again and back into the catch-22. And now that I've vowed to never let this happen again, I'm still trying to make sense of it. I feel like a failure for letting myself feel the way I did about her because I thought that I knew her so well. Now that she's shown her true colors, I question whether or not I'll ever be able to really trust someone in that setting again.

(Hook)

You built me up and you broke me down but I knew
And all those whispers were only fiction but I knew
Still I’m missin you, wish it wasn’t true. But I'll do what I gotta do

And I can’t go back, either way I lose. Cause your love is a Catch-22

The hook is really a representation of my internal thoughts. I feel like with all of the ways this woman built me up and made me better, she caused more harm in breaking me down in the end. And I say, "but I knew" because all of the evidence was there, I just wasn't willing to acknowledge it. Then, I describe the catch-22. It's a lose-lose situation. I don't know if I can be happy with her or without her.

(Verse 2)
And All around I’m surrounded by the reminders of
What it was that surrounded my soul
Feel my heart getting cold 
Now it’s only getting colder


This stanza is intended to convey how even though I'm no longer in love with her, all I see around me is reminders of what used to be. And those are the things that make me long for her. I really let her love engulf me in the way that I wouldn't allow myself to see all of the bad things. And because of this heartbreak and the way I'm questioning myself, constantly surrounded by reminders of the pain, I feel less and less open to trusting anyone again.

But hold up, I gotta get control of it
All these notes and the potion 
Got me feelin so open when 
The only thing I really needed was closure I’m over it


So I stop myself and have a moment of clarity in which I realize that I can't let this experience cause me to become a cold person. It's just that a mixture of the musical notes in the song and the alcohol (potion) have me feeling so vulnerable and exposed to pain. Those are the reasons why I feel my heart continuing to get colder and colder. Which is the opposite of open, in another sense, and how I need closure to the relationship. Not to revisit it. But I declare through brute force that I'm over it.

I was wrong from the start, disregarded it all
Cause the brain can’t tell you what the heart can
And the world can’t tell you what the stars can
That’s how it goes when you think you got a starlet


I acknowledge that I was wrong in the way I felt from the very beginning. Signs were abound. But I couldn't understand it because I was thinking with my brain instead of relying on instinct and making decisions with my heart. Meaning, this was a beautiful girl, she was smart, had a good career, all characteristics of a person that you would fall in love with. That's what my mind told me. But had I really listened to my heart, I would've seen how wrong her actions were in the way she treated me and I wouldn't have been in love with her. Relatedly, you can't let the facts, rules, opinions of people in your environment dictate how you feel or what the right answer is for you. For much the same reason, I loved this woman because people around me liked her and told me she was perfect. But those people can't tell you how you should feel about someone, you have to rely on your intuition and emotions. The answers to our destinies I think are all with a higher power somewhere, not with the people around us. But when you think you have a starlet, or an attractive actress who looks like she has it all on the outside, it's easy to get caught up in her and difficult to follow your heart and the stars. 

But you’re an actress with a lot of practice
At the art of deception
Then you jumped when the dream fell down like Inception
I’m left with a mess and handful of questions


In reality, despite how she appears on the outside, a starlet is just an actress at the end of the day. That's her profession, but I mean it in the way that she lied and was deceptive. She's had a lot of practice in the way that she's manipulated others to get to where she is. And a lot of actresses do this in real life, so it's fitting. I see that now. She led me to believe that she believed in the dreams we shared. However, at the first sign of things going awry, she "jumped," or left me. I use the metaphor from the movie "Inception" here. Specifically, when Marion Cotillard, who plays Mal or the wife of Leonardo DiCaprio in the movie, jumps to her death from the ledge of a building. This line has many layers, however. I use 'the dream falls down' figuratively in the one sense, but also relate it to the way in which dreams in the movie crumble and fall down, literally, once the dreamer realizes it isn't real. So that, from the perspective of the woman who's the subject of the song, is the reason that she jumped. Because she didn't believe in us. From my perspective, however, I see who I thought she was to be the dream, projecting her into being someone who she wasn't. Because the woman I loved wouldn't have failed to believe in us ever. And she caused both her death and the death of our relationship because she didn't believe and trust in me. Finally, in the last line, you sense this defeat in what I say. She's the one who jumped, she's the one who left me, yet I'm the one who is suffering. I'm left with this mess and all of these questions pertaining to why would she do this and what did I do wrong? Much like what Cobb (DiCaprio) is left with in the movie. I found his situation to be a perfect example of what catch-22 meant to me. And he ultimately realizes at the end that he must leave her and rid himself of her memory, much like I realize that I have to.


(Hook)

You built me up and you broke me down but I knew
And all those whispers were only fiction but I knew
Still I’m missin you, wish it wasn’t true. But I'll do what I gotta do

And I can’t go back, either way I lose. Cause your love is a Catch-22

(Verse 3)
I’m exhausted, cause my thoughts of the past got baggage
More than average
So I put em on my back and I carry em on
But that weight is a little too strong for one man


The final verse examines the way I'm feeling through a metaphor using airports and traveling. The reason for this is that I've always been intrigued by airports because of how I feel when I'm in them and what they represent. Last year, I traveled to 5 countries and was in something like 9 time zones. It seemed that every other weekend I was flying somewhere. When I would be waiting for flights, all I could think about was how lonely it felt to be in this place waiting for a flight by myself. I would look around me and see people saying goodbye to family and friends, people looking lost or stressed rushing to flights. So I try to convey how I'm feeling about what this woman has done to me in that context. And how I feel is just so drained and exhausted mentally from even thinking about these questions I have and what I could have done differently. I believe that's how you get over those types of situations sometimes. You just have to reach a threshold by which it's just so straining mentally that you have no choice as a human to just block it out and forget about it. So I say I'm exhausted from that extra mental weight I've been carrying around from my past (baggage). It's more than average, not simply because I've experience heartbreak...everyone has, but because of me being inside of my own head and creating all of this extra weight that I've put on myself. So, I'm carrying both the weight from what she did to me and the weight I've put on myself onto the plane without checking any of the bags because I'm determined to fight through the pain. But, acknowledging that I'm carrying weight for two, I start to doubt whether I can continue on like this.


Now I’m so far from home
I used to never travel alone
But when the times got tough, and the bags got packed
You left me with the weight of the world


So, you're to presume that I'm now far from home by myself at an unknown airport. An unsettling feeling for certain. It's also meant to convey both that my relationship was home and now I'm far from it now that it's over. In another sense, its meant to convey that I'm in unfamiliar territory feeling like this and I don't feel like myself. Which is often how you feel after a breakup - unfamiliar and uncomfortable with yourself. Always questioning your actions. The reason I feel strange traveling now is I used to always travel with this woman, meaning, we would do everything together. But I feel a great sense of abandonment in the way I felt that she left at the first sign of trouble, not making the effort to work things out. And that abandonment has left me with not only her weight (packed bags), but also mine and the rest of what comes with experiencing a breakup (the weight of the world, all-inclusively).

Now I’m waitin at the same gate waitin for her
All departures, no arrivals

No taxis, no drivers. 
You hi-jacked my love, no survivors


This first line is intended to mean a couple of things. One, that I'm waiting at the same gate that I met her at - figuratively. Meaning, I feel like I'm back to square one and wasted all of that time and effort in the relationship. Second, that I'm waiting for the girl I once knew. The girl that I fell in love with at the beginning. So, I refer to the woman as "her" instead of "you." This is also me beginning to not acknowledge her presence. Now, to signify the way I feel abandoned, I say there are only outgoing flights. No taxis and no private drivers waiting for me to take me from the airport. You can imagine how that would feel. No way to get home or back to the way things used to be. Also, there are no arrivals, meaning she won't be coming back. The fact that there are only departures also is a sign that it's time for me to move on to a new place in my life. The last line leading into the last stanza of the song begins to communicate the fight and aggression I feel in leaving this all behind and onto something better. One, because it's what I'm supposed to and what I know I need to do. Two, because I have to. I have no choice because it's all become too much to handle on my own. In this aggression, I assign blame to her using the metaphor. She hijacked my love so there was nothing that I could do about it. And ultimately, the way she made me fall in love with her caused me to feel alone and like I couldn't survive when the relationship didn't work out.

So I’m droppin all your things, gettin on a plane
And leavin all the pain behind
That’s how you left and it didn’t seem right
But I’m a south paw I’m down for the fight

I then, defiantly, say that I'm forgetting about all of the pain she left me with. I won't carry it anymore. Even after the breakup, she had some sort of hold on me, but this is me finally leaving everything behind. So much so, that I'm actually getting on a plane to move to a new place with new opportunity, forgetting about the past. And what follows is, ironically, that's exactly how she left me in a sense - completely and unexpectedly. Much like I'm leaving my old feelings behind. This has a sentiment of karma to it. I'm a strong believer in it and the way she left me didn't seem right, or moral. It felt like she shouldn't have been allowed by the powers that be to leave like a coward and hurt me as she did. So I justify my up-and-leaving in the way that she left me. I play off of "right" in the moral sense, and flip it to "right" in the directional sense. So she hurt me right-handed, but unexpectedly, I'm left-handed (a south paw). So what goes around comes around. And with that, I'm willing to spar with her figuratively in exchanging blows because I believe leaving, in the end, is what's right for me.


(Hook 2X)

You built me up and you broke me down but I knew
And all those whispers were only fiction but I knew
Still I’m missin you, wish it wasn’t true. But I'll do what I gotta do

And I can’t go back, either way I lose. Cause your love is a Catch-22

As you read, you can listen to and reference the song Sin City right here:

www.soundcloud.com/drewwilliam

Though I'm sure that most of you are aware, the track I used for this song was originally used by Tyga  in his song Rack City. I remember hearing the song for the first time on a hip-hop site before it ever got much shine. The track is just so aggressive, raw, and, ignorant. The other thing that I really dug about it is the simplicity. The chord progression is so limited, though you really don't ever get tired of hearing the song. The most catchy and successful songs on radio tend to have that makeup, so it's of no surprise that Rack City has begun to get some major airplay on urban radio. 

I didn't much consider using it the first few times I heard it, but as it picked up momentum and began to garner a unique following, I found it to be inspiring. This song was very much a song of the moment to me and came about spontaneously. It fit the profile that I usually look for in a mixtape song...it's popular enough for a large audience to know what it is and what it represents, yet, it leaves something to be desired to me. I'm a fan of Tyga's and have enjoyed what he's done as an artist thus far, but let's be honest, his lyrics are pretty basic on the song. Therefore, I really wanted to exploit the potential of what I thought the song could be. 

The other aspect of my choosing it was that I saw something different when I heard the song than what Tyga did. I can't speak too much to the concept of Rack City and exactly what Tyga's trying to convey in the song, but the song embodied my experiences in Las Vegas, so I saw that as an opportunity to connect it to the original version, but also be very genuine in creating a unique rendition of my own. The track kind of bleeds austerity, sin, and seduction, much like Vegas. So, I took the Rack City concept and molded it into Sin City. Once I did, I decided that I really wanted to talk about what I enjoy about Vegas and project an aura of arrogance to make the song very hip-hop and showcase my range. At the same time, Vegas is, in a lot of ways, a microcosm of exactly what's wrong with our society and is composed of many examples of issues that we all deal with daily in our lives. So, I hope that you see this sort of skepticism and sarcasm that's kind of underlying the song when I talk about these things. There are little messages in the lines that are intended to let you know my thought process in light of some of these circumstances that we're all subjected to, whether it be in Vegas or every town, U.S.A.

I’m out in Vegas, bitch. Lightin up the strip
Probably at the Wynn, yeah that’s so fittin
Get it? Nowadays all I do is win
And hated on by losin men, not you again


This opening stanza is meant to kind of set the scene for not only where I'm at, but what my attitude is. I talk about the Wynn because it's my favorite casino in Vegas. So, I draw the conclusion that I'm drawn to the Wynn because I'm a winner. So I see it as being kind of inherent in who I am. Conversely, however, it's meant to be a little bit skeptical like the song in general in that I'm acknowledging that maybe I love the Wynn because they've intended to capture me through the name. The brand associations obviously are that you're a winner if you play and stay there, which gives us many positive feelings. So, I'm kind of also aware of the possibility that I've been manipulated into liking the place through marketing tactics, and that's representative of Vegas itself and the experience, so it sets the stage for my grasping of what I'm subjected to when I'm enjoying myself there. There's intended to be sarcasm in the fact that I have to lay out for you exactly what I'm saying because you're inferior to me. So I then take the final line to the opposite of winning, losing, to say that many of the listeners that I have to lay this stuff out for and I see as inferior are the same ones who have hate for me and are kind of just the pests that I can't rid myself of i.e. "Not you again..."

We do it big, shout out to Club XS
Couple drinks by the pool, I needed bed rest
Sin City cause heaven is too hectic
I simplify it to fire women, cabanas


To further describe the scene, I say that I'm not only at the Wynn, but at Club XS, which is a club within the Wynn. Of no coincidence, it also happens to be one of my very favorite clubs in the world. One of the features it has is an outdoor element in which there's a pool surrounded by elegant beds and cabanas that serves as a place to party aside from the dance floor. That's one of the things I love most about XS, so I say the reason for my trip is that I needed bed rest, facetiously. We all get away to rest on vacation, but the line's intended to be humorous in that I'm actually partying and is an example of the cliche Vegas advertisements in which lies and dumb excuses are made up as reasons to go to Vegas, along with not disclosing what someone does while they're there. On the flip side, I say, in a sense, that I went to hell to get away from heaven. The day-to-day grind of our normal lives often gets to be too much. Which is a big reason why people need to get away and go to Vegas. Which is crazy when you think about it. In order to get away from your loved ones and a job that provides you with income, we're all willing to dish out big money to go to someplace that we know is sinful and entails a lot of the things we know we should be doing. So, it's kind of ironic that I say I'm simplifying my life by going to Vegas because it actually represents a lot of unnecessary complexity in the flash, extravagances, and potential trouble that you can get into being there. But I'm a human just like everyone else, and Vegas, somehow, represents a simplification of things to me. All I need is beautiful women and surroundings to really be happy. It's not how I really feel. However, when you're there, you really do feel that way. That's part of Vegas' charm. I'll really drive home the comparison to Hell later on.

And I'm crimson tied up with southern girls from Alabama
Complimentin my fitted suit from Beijing
I flew my Harvard girls out from Cambridge
Cause educated women the ones who speak my language


To further clarify the picture, I'm outside by the pool, cabanas, beds at the club with beautiful women and we're all dressed to the nines. I say I have a crimson tie on with southern girls from Alabama as a play on the fact that the University of Alabama is also known as the "Crimson Tide." I say the tie is complimenting my suit from Beijing because I actually met the woman who produces and tailors my suits on a trip to China. So saying that I have my fitted suit from Beijing on is meant to show you that I'm well traveled and connected, enjoy things from abroad, and also serve as a unique location in the theme of this stanza. I go on to communicate that even though I'm in this beautiful place surrounded by beautiful women, it's not enough as I have to have stimulating conversation as well because I'm a complex person with many interests. So I have to have multiple intelligent perspectives and I'm willing to put down the money to fly girls who have both brains and beauty out from Cambridge, MA (where Harvard University is located) just to fulfill my desires in having beautiful women who can "speak my language."

I like scholars who possess a high tolerance
College chicks and colleges I love em cause they compose my audience
We’re partyin
Psychological naugtiness, Freudian

I provide further reasoning for the type of girls I'm with and like to have around me. Scholars who can speak my language but also have a "high tolerance" for alcohol. A big reason why I enjoy hanging with these college chicks is because they're a rare breed that typically is both intelligent and can party as well. So, I love em for that reason but also because they tend to makeup the majority of my fans. I don't make music for any particular group, but college women and college students in general tend to relate extremely well to it. That's not surprising considering the fact that I once was, am, and always will be a student at heart and share similar interests with that demographic. Plus, I've made several songs specifically for women, in general. Being that the girls who are partying with me are exceptionally intelligent and well-versed in their studies, I compare the way we're partying to the ever-famous psychologist Sigmund Freud. The song and the scene that I've conveyed give you this feeling of manipulation and seduction. So, these girls speak my language and can not only talk about Freud and his beliefs with me because they're educated, but they also understand his concepts and can kind of psychologically spar with me and read my mind in a playful way. Women who have that additional layer of intellect to communicate without speaking have always captivated me. Which is why I would do almost anything i.e. fly them out from Massachusetts, to be around them.

The songwriter got punchlines like Pacquiao
I drop my quota a couple thou to knock ya out
With both hands, got twin sais like Raphael
A ninja turtle, they sellin out, I’m underground


I say "the songwriter" because I pride myself on being just that, distinct from the great majority of rappers who just write non-related lines and call it a song. So, it's unexpected, but the songwriter who you would least expect to be potent with the punchlines is now flaunting them in this song. Punchlines taken literally conveys my lines' potency, comparing it to who I see to be the fastest and most unassuming, silent assassin in boxing right now, Manny Pacquiao. I, hypothetically, "drop my quota" a couple of thousand dollars just to knock the competition out or to prove that I can do it. As I've stated in some of my other songs, I'm not in this for the money, so I would forego what I'm owed for a verse just to come at you for the sport of it. In showing the range I have to make a song like this in contrast to a lot of what's on my album, I draw the similarities to being ambidextrous in boxing. I can K.O. you in many ways, whether that's being a better songwriter or writer of punchlines, I use both hands (or the full repertoire). Just like Raphael, the Ninja Turtle, uses his sais to jab the enemy. I also intend to drive an element of disregard with the visual of two sais, with the middle dagger longer than the left and right, being similar to both middle fingers in the air. Playing on the Raphael comparison, I say the rest are selling out and I'm underground. The Ninja Turtles literally live underground, so figuratively, I'm underground because my music is non-commercial and very real and genuine.

I wear it proud from unentitled to title holder
My colleagues are CEOs and future owners
Up in the mornin for meetings over mimosas
Rollin over to women like Alesandra Ambrosio


Continuing on from the last stanza, I wear the fact that I'm underground and real very proudly. Despite what my record sales are or will ever be, I'm proud of myself from being unentitled and someone who didn't even deserve to have anyone's attention starting out, to now feeling as if I own the title as being one of the most honest and thought-provoking urban songwriters out. And that title is something that you believe in yourself, so nobody can take it away from you. The titleholder reference is also meant to play on the boxing content from the stanza previous. In showing my versatility in being a business student along with an artist, I say my colleagues are CEOs and future owners. Several of my colleagues are, in actuality, CEOs or will be soon. I feel very privileged to be around people like that. At the same time, I feel like the sky is the limit for me and my colleagues in that we can be the future owners of significant property, sports franchises, etc. once we reach the peaks we're aiming for. To communicate that I'm still a businessman in addition to an artist, I still wake up after a night of partying for meetings over mimosas. That's intended to convey not only my multi-faceted personality, but also my drive to enjoy life and be successful. The last line plays on rolling over in bed in the morning to women who look just like model Alessandra Ambrosio. Successful in each phase of my life is the takeaway.

My heart stay cold, Lights stay strobe
Literally flashes of greatness behold
Imported  palms, countless mirages
Arias, Belagios I let it ride


Despite waking up next to beautiful women, my heart is still cold in that my intentions are strictly in the business sense. Whether that's being up in the morning for a meeting or just getting what I want out of hanging with beautiful women. Now, before you attempt to exploit that flaw in my personality, it's meant to be assessed in light of the fact that I'm in Vegas. This now broaches a theme apparent in the rest of the song in that I enjoy myself in the face of all of this fakeness and these allusions, things I shouldn't enjoy. Things we all shouldn't enjoy. But I do so because I understand the system. I exploit Vegas for what I want to get out of it. And it does the same to me. So I won't allow my heart to warm to a woman in Vegas because I know she's not trustworthy and she most likely is cold-hearted herself. I say the "lights stay strobe" because strobe lights are so prevalent in Vegas and its by design, I've always found them to be so manipulating. They make everything appear cooler, more sexual, and better overall, yet, they're really a manipulation of the senses and prevent you from getting an honest understanding of your surroundings. So there's literally "flashes of greatness" whether it's taken to mean that you can see me in flashes or you can see the beautiful women/surroundings just for a fleeting moment that you perceive to be greatness. Either way, much of what you see, as in all of Vegas, is an illusion. That's a prevalent theme here. To that point, the paradise and palm trees that you see are imported into the strip to make it more appealing and glamorous. The line also alludes to the Palms hotel/casino in Vegas. "Countless mirages" to mislead and manipulate is what these examples are. Not coincidentally, this also can refer to The Mirage hotel/casino. I go on to finish by saying that, despite my knowledge of these mirages, I still "let it ride." That's a play on the gambling notion that you keep playing and go for it.

Numbers don’t lie, countin money like blessings
But sins pay the pentance, that pole is a sentence
Club stay packed, not a soul in a attendance
That desert and that heat breed the Devil’s decendents


And the reason that we let it ride and continue to indulge ourselves in these sins is that numbers don't lie when it comes to money. Our society, in so many situations, cares only about who has the most money. It's though of as the most objective way to measure someone's success, many times. I feel like that's a huge reason why people go to Vegas, to be seen betting a lot of money. No matter where you're from, you can be somebody else in Vegas if you spend enough. You can create an illusion of who you are in light of the illusions that surround you. And so, what's really fucked up is that so many people count this money in Vegas and money anywhere in the world about how they would count blessings. They pray and thank the Lord for the money that they have. Almost as if a dollar bill is as valuable as a blessing. That line is pure skepticism on my part in really driving home a point in what's right and wrong. Because I think it's wrong, I have to find a way to justify and make sense of it. My way of doing that is believing, in a way, that you must give up a portion of your soul to be rich. So, I say "sins pay the pentance." And an example of this is the strip clubs in Vegas. When I see strippers subject themselves to what they do, I have no other way to cope than to believe that they've sinned in the past and, therefore, the stripper pole, metaphorically, is their sentence to pay the pentance for what they've done in the past. That's also how I justify my continuing to go there. Then, looking around me, I see the strip club is packed, but it's full of all of these rich individuals subjecting these women to horrible treatment. I see them as soulless. People all around me in the physical form, but I feel like the only one in the club who actually has a soul and conscience to feel bad for what's happening. Yet, I'm imperfect, and continue to go to strip clubs, making me question if I'm like these people. Whether or not I've lost my way and see myself differently only because it's me that I'm assessing. In drawing parallels to Vegas and how it has many things that seem sinful and hellish, I compare the irony of the fact that Vegas is this dry, hot, sinful place in the middle of the dessert and how maybe that plays a role in attracting and breeding the "devil's descendents" or the sinful behavior that occurs there. Because it actually contains a lot of the elements that we would traditionally consider hell to have.

You’re the worst, yeah you’re the baddest
What you thinkin? I can imagine
European fashion, face outta Maxim
Tell me what you drinkin and I got it til the last one


Even with the understanding I have, and the issues that arose in my head in the last stanza, I still acknowledge my imperfection in a dialogue with a woman I met at the strip club, whether it be a dancer or a fellow patron. It's intended to follow that this is one of the devil's descendents I'm speaking with in that she has bad intentions and is, presumably, disguised as a beautiful temptation (i.e. devil in a dress). The 4 lines are me, in a way, kicking game to her. But I'm doing so knowing that she's not a good person and simply exploiting Vegas like it exploits me, as I alluded to earlier. So, when I say "What you thinkin? I can imagine," it sounds like I'm trying to infer that I think she's really feeling me and wants sex, but in actuality, I understand the system and how it works so I'm actually imagining that she's thinking that I'm some gullible businessman with a lot of money that she can take advantage of. Still, I complement her and play the game because I find beautiful women who understand the nuances of fashion to be irresistible. So, I take part in the cliche process of buying all of her drinks and giving her money because I'm willing to pay for the attention, knowing that she's insincere and only out to take my money.

That’s how I run it like the rebels did
The James Dean of all of this fuckin rebel shit
And I don’t really give a fuck like I’m a celibate
My attitude I take it to my last words predicate


Therefore, that's how I run game, figuratively, just like UNLV and the Runnin Rebels basketball teams of the 90s did literally in dominating the competition. This run-and-gun style fit the brand because it was careless and fearless, based on instinct. Much like Vegas is. And much like the original rebel, James Dean was. I draw comparisons to myself because he's known as being the definition of cool and that rebellious attitude really fits how you feel when you're in Vegas. James Dean is also from my home state of Indiana, so I heard plenty lore of him growing up and related to him in a lot of aspirational ways. That rebellious attitude is really not giving a fuck. So I say I don't give a fuck "like I'm celibate." Which is ironic in that the song and Vegas are both very sexual and promiscuous. Finally, I say that attitude isn't just a phase, but that I'll carry it with me for the rest of my life. To "my last words". Taken another way, the last words of a sentence are the predicate.

David Blaine I’m grounded but now I’m levitatin
The view is better from penthouses and elevators
So the top is where we take it like Doug
And now I’m on that roofie, no hangover that game’s over


In this last stanza, I make an attempt to tie up the sentiment of the song. As you probably know, the magician David Blaine, who performs/has done tricks in Vegas, is known for his trick in which he levitates from the ground. In contrast, I say that I'm grounded, as you've seen in my questioning of what I see that I consider to be right or wrong and my understanding of the mirages that I subject myself too. But "now I'm levitatin," which not only means that I'm figuratively getting high from the indulgences of Vegas, but also that I'm getting better and better as an artist. And, as you continue to rise, you get a taste for the good life and the luxuries that accompany it. So, I say the view is better because I enjoy what's coming with increasing success and recognition. The metaphor follows that you take the elevator to the penthouse level, just as you would when you rise in status as a musician. So, in becoming more successful, my team feels like we have to take it to the top, figuratively, just as Doug, the character in The Hangover, is taken to the top of Caesar's Palace, literally. To convey that I've now risen and am on the top of my game and the competition as a result of this song, I say that "I'm on that roofie" as in, the roof of the hotel. Also meant as a reference to The Hangover in which Allan accidentally gives the rest of the cast mates roofies, which leads to the debauchery.


In conclusion...


I hope that you enjoy the wordplay and ignorance of the song. It really is, in a huge way, about speaking to how fun and exciting it is to take part in Vegas and how we all wish that we could be the person that we are when we're there, all of the time. To that point, I think it's very healthy to have that escape and, almost, an alter ego. It's good to strive for things and dream. At the same time, I hope that you don't simply take the content I've included in the song at face value. It's very much so about my perspective as a human and this battle we all have between temptation and doing what's right. I saw this song as an opportunity to not only do something very different for myself as an artist, but to give a unique twist to an exceptional instrumental in order to tell an interconnected story that represents experiences I can relate to more than Rack City.


Here's to my listeners!

Before I delve into the song's analysis, I have to tell you about how this song came about, because it's quite unlikely. Four or so years ago, my brother was visiting a few of his friends in Indianapolis. The result of a drunken night was a jam session among them. That jam session produced the basis of what became Fading Dreams. The first thing my brother did when he returned to Bloomington was produce an electronic version of the idea. He then developed it further, finished the production, and proceeded to do nothing with it. It came to my attention on a mix of various songs that I had borrowed from him. I knew I loved it, but I didn't quite know what to do with it. I told him that he had to let me use it. Our sound was so different back then that I don't think either of us knew if the end product with my vocals draped over it had the potential to be any good. It was intended to be more of an electronic song with no vocals. Approximately four years passed and I was putting the final touches on the album. I rediscovered the beat and fell in love with it once again. After maturing for four years as an artist, I finally knew exactly what to do with it. In that way, the song embodied the process of making the album for me. I designated it as the lead song for the album before I wrote it.

In a lot of ways, I believe this song to be the most important of my career thus far. I approached the writing of it as if it were a first impression, which I absolutely believe it to be. Many people heard my music before I released the album, which I can't, nor do I desire, to control. However, the album was the first opportunity that I had to compile and connect the pieces of who I am as an artist, rather than just writing individual songs that each show different, but limited, sides of who I am. Therefore, I knew that this song had to define me in many ways. And if anyone were to ever ask me about sampling my music, I would direct them to this song first. In light of that approach, I would speculate that, word for word, more thought was put into this song than any other.

The song is really my attempt to, in less than 2 minutes, communicate not only what the album is about, but what I'm about as an artist. Further, it's intended to serve as a sign of what to expect from us sonically for what lies ahead. "Barometer" is intended to have a dual meaning. I'll go ahead and cite the two brief definitions. 1. Something that reflects changes in circumstances or opinions. 2.  An instrument measuring atmospheric pressure. In one sense, Barometer is intended to mean that this album is just a preview of things to come. We've never claimed to be untouchable and on top of the music world. However, we hope that when you listen to the album that you see the potential in us. We truly focus on continuously improving and remaining progressive in our approach. That comes with taking chances, experimenting, and even, failing. As much as we like the work we've done thus far, we believe our work has a lot of room to grow into something that hasn't been heard before. And we think in those terms. So our album is a reflection of the changes that will come in the form of the music world's opinion of us and the heights that we plan, but have yet, to reach. In the second sense, Barometer is intended to mean that the album is a display of the pressure we're capable of applying to our competition and the industry. There are flashes of greatness sprinkled throughout the album, and though we focused on creating a diverse body of work first and foremost, when you get down to the basics of what we do in creating, the song "Barometer" and the project as a whole hopefully makes listeners realize that we can be a real problem to the competition and creatively conquer whatever we set our mind to.

We want to be honest. We want to be truly original and progressive. And this whole thing isn't about making money or attaining fame, it's about putting ourselves out there and taking a chance. Creating music is accompanied by increased vulnerability. At least for the artist. Everything that I do in music, whether it be recording my thoughts in a song or performing in front of an audience is me exposing myself to potential criticism. Others may not agree with my thoughts or may simply not think that what I create is good. A lot of people don't appreciate what it takes to subject yourself to that vulnerability. I don't have to do this. In fact, that would be the easy way out. I just know that I stand to gain more as a person by doing what I like, pursuing what I believe in, and growing tolerant of criticism and differences in opinion. That's the undeniable overlap between life and music.

With that said, Fading Dreams is a reflection of my perspective on our music and the album. The song really stems from a counter-intuitive truth that I see each and every day. That truth is that the more successful you become, the more you must learn to cope with rejection. It's difficult to make sense of that reality when you sit down and think about it. But I see this first-hand - academically, professionally, and musically. During my undergraduate studies, I was named the top student in my program. I had a better job than most all of my peers. I then utilized that success to gain acceptance into a top MBA program. Now that I'm there, however, I deal with more rejection than I ever have before. I can't even get interviews with some companies I apply with. I receive criticism on my academic papers that I'm not accustomed to. The same is true about music. When only a few of your friends have heard your music and like it, it's great. Then you start to show it to more people and more opinions breed more criticism and negativity. Having those experiences in the last few years and learning from them is really the inspiration for this song. We're encouraged to pursue our dreams, but the more we pursue them, the more rejection we have to deal with along the way. So that's why it's called Fading Dreams, because I have these dreams that I'm pursuing, but they're constantly fading and seeming less-likely because of the criticism I'm now dealing with. And that criticism is a result of my success, which is what makes the thought crazy. The song is about me learning how to maintain self-belief and fight through those criticisims, using them to propel me to success on a level I've never been to before.

And that thought leads us into Barometer's opening lines...  


[If my success is their failure...there's no greater motivator
They try to deter what you do, but true love and value are entirely intrinsic
So to myself, I'm not just terrific. I'm prolific.


I feel that your success as an artist is, in a lot of ways, dependent on your ability to believe in yourself in light of circumstances that appear to be insurmountable. Even as an artist who hasn't gotten a lot of recognition in the grand scheme of things as of yet, I just feel as if there are so many detractors out there. All artists use that as motivation in some form or fashion. I'm no different. Here, I'm saying that the motivation to make those detractors fail as a result of my success is adequate in itself. Though I have other motivations, those individuals are enough. From which you can infer by how much my motivation exceeds what is typical. Being subjected to negativity is so difficult when you're in a position of vulnerability, but I do my best to remind myself that anything pure - love and how you value yourself, is under my control and nobody else's. I can choose to let negativity affect me, or I don't have to. That's the reason that I know these detractors' fake love isn't true, and it's also the reason that enables me to understand the love around me that is true. When you break it down, it's the self-belief in whatever it is you do that enables you to see your true value and potential. Which, in turn, enables you to succeed. This music endeavor for me is the perfect example. So I say, even for those that like my music and think that it's good or 'terrific', I believe in myself that much more, enough to believe that I'm prolific. And that's all that matters. Because you have more of an understanding about yourself and what you're capable of than anyone else ever will. So why would you ever listen to anybody's opinion of you? It's, by definition, illogical to take the advice of someone who has less knowledge of a subject over that of someone who has more knowledge of a subject.  


Don't say I never painted the picture for you.
Honest and vivid as can be.
So fuck it, I got it like...]


And so I say 'Don't say I never painted the picture for you' because this song and all of the other songs that include mental paintings and visuals that I've intended to create for my audience represent my vision. All you have to do is listen to my songs to know what I'm about and where I'm going. I kind of think of it in the sense of those corny adventure movies where the hero spends the entire movie looking at what becomes the map to a treasure. But they think it's just a picture the entire time because they don't know how to interpret it. I feel that way about my music. The evidence is there. What I've created is now here forever. You will always be able to go back and listen to it. But it's up to you to interpret it and extrapolate out to what it could become. So don't say that you missed it when I was nobody because I've been as 'honest and vivid as can be'. My songs are intended to tell ideas and stories. The facts lie within the songs. I've put all of this effort and thought into communicating my story as honestly as I can, and in a way that you can see and interpret. This album is, in a way, the last stop on our way to the bigger and better things that I believe we're destined for. If you've yet to grasp our potential and see our vision, you most likely never will. So this is me saying 'Fuck, it' I gave it my all to try and make you see what I saw. But you can't make people see these intangibles. They have to have something innate that allows them to perceive and understand on their own. And so I begin with one more piece of evidence: The evidence contained in the content of this lead song. And I go in... 'I got it like...'


Underrated's an understatement
Underground shit, I record from the basement
Game need a face lift, I’m operatin
Doctor, doctor but I got no patience


With this song being about self-belief, I start off with 'Underrated's an understatement'. Meaning, a lot of people tell me I'm underrated. That my music competes on the level of songs they hear on the radio and artists they see signed to labels. My response to that is that underrated isn't even the proper word. That's an understatement for where my music is in comparison to other artist's. It's really meant to be almost an over-exaggeration to prove the level of belief I have in what I'm capable of that underrated doesn't even do it justice. Relatedly, one of the principal reasons that I don't have the recognition of other artists is because I choose not to. I enjoy maintaining my status as being underground and independent because it allows me to be more honest and creatively free. And that will always be what drives me, even if I one day am paid to do what I do. Further, 'I record from the basement' is to be taken both in the literal and figurative sense. A basement is actually underground, but I also started out by recording in my basement. I mean that I'm still that guy. We still are just doing it for the love of doing it. Nothing else. The, 'Game need a face lift...' is me saying that the industry is far too commercial right now. So as the underground guy who's still honest to himself and his music, I'm here to alter the industry with this album. It's no coincidence that undergoing a face lift is purely superficial, just like the industry. So 'I'm operatin' on the industry with the precision and effectiveness of a 'Doctor, doctor'. But I'm doing it right now because it's an emergency in a sense. In the way that people will begin to become disinterested in music if it continues to be so commercialized. Therefore, 'I got no patience' is both conveying that I'm impatient and doing it now, and I'm not actually a doctor, so I have no patients.

I’m talkin right now, turn the lights down
I’m in a good zone, haters pipe down
Already told you, it’s my time now

I say 'turn the lights down' cause I'm ready to go to work. In myriad scenarios, I work better without the distraction of light. I always record in the dark when I'm in the studio. It helps me to focus as you're forced to rely on the sense that you actually need to be using - hearing, not sight. 'I'm in a good zone' refers to the songwriting process when you fall into such a groove that it's not even like you're creating any more, it's more like the song has already been written somewhere in your head and you're just being perceptive enough to let the words fall on the canvas. The track and the time period for me as an artist had me locked in, knowing exactly what to say on the song. So I say, 'haters pipe down' cause I don't want them to fuck up my zone. People who don't want you to succeed often try to divert your attention, much like a basketball player at the free throw line. 'Already told you, it's my time now' is intended to mean that I've already notified the haters in previous songs that there's nothing they can do to stop me or fuck up my focus. What lies ahead is destiny. One of those songs being track 11, entitled 'It's My Time'.


Always wanted to write a song sayin I got it all
But I done promised only the truth
Step up in the booth, not a Superman suit
No Clark Kent, behind the fog tint is just Drew


I've never written a song where I talk about having it all. Though so much of what's out there in hip-hop is, essentially, about exactly that. I just can't bring myself to do it because it wouldn't be honest. So I say that I've always wanted to write those types of songs, because that's the easy way out. It gets down to a fundamental point. It's easier to fabricate than tell the truth. That's, often times, the reason why we lie - it's just easier. It's such a counter-intuitive point as well because you have to create a lie, but the truth requires no effort in the most pure sense. I promised to always be honest in my songs, however. I'll open myself up to the vulnerability that accompanies the truth because it's the right thing to do. 'Step up in the booth, not a Superman suit'. As in, those who lie in songs, essentially, record as if they're another person. They just step into the recording booth like Clark Kent does the phone booth and make themselves into Superman by inflating and manipulating their experiences. I say that I'm not Clark Kent or Superman inside or outside of the recording booth. 'The fog tint' of sunglasses is symbolic of fame and celebrity. You hear me on a record and presume more about me than you should. Though I'm thrust, somewhat, into a position of power by having my music broadcast through speakers for many to hear, I'm just Drew, not even Drew William, behind that recording. And I'm not claiming to be anybody else.

I can feel the envy, filled with empti-
-ness in my chest, not an S on my chest
But I still tell myself that I’m blessed with best

But yet, I can feel envy because people wish they could do what I do. And here I am in a position that makes me feel kind of empty because I'm subjected to criticism pertaining to my music when I'm just really trying to do something I love. This gets back to the point of vulnerability mentioned earlier. Allusions to Superman in saying that I don't have an S on my chest, I'm human. So that rejection takes it's toll on me like it would anyone else. But I have that unwavering self-belief. So through all of the negativity, I have to just keep telling myself that I'm blessed with talents that nobody else possesses. That's how you have to justify the confidence that's necessary to succeed sometimes. Unfounded confidence can be just as useful as founded. You can't understand exactly why you're better or more qualified than somebody else, you just have to believe that you've been blessed with something that sets you apart. This is also meant to be me focusing on my blessings and reminding myself of what I have. I have all of these other blessings, so I really have nothing to lose by failing. That's how I alleviate pressure many times, by saying that if it all falls down in a worst-case scenario, I'm still blessed and better-off than most.


So I’m chillin with chicks they European
How do you explain when nobody speak English?
How do you describe what nobody else seein?
How to realize what nobody else believes in?
  
This reflects my interest in traveling abroad and the things that I've learned from the 6 countries I've visited. The fact that I, often times, find women from other countries to be far more intriguing than women in the states. But the problem becomes that they have more of the traits you desire, but they don't understand you because you come from a different background. They simply will never understand your culture and values because the only way to understand is to experience it in your formative years. We're all a product of our environment and there's nothing we can do to change much of what makes us...us. And this is how I feel with my music. Like I'm the only one who truly understands it. So, it's like, how do I explain what I mean in my music when nobody else has lived my life. It's like we're speaking a different language. Further, how do I describe my vision to people who can't see it. As I said before, you can't make people see your vision. You can lay it out in front of them, but you have to allow them to perceive and understand it on their own. Finally, getting down to the true essence of what Fading Dreams is about, how do I realize my dreams when nobody else believe in them? I can't explain it to them and I can't show them because they can't see it. So how will it ever come to fruition? That's what every artists wonders during periods in which interest in and recognition for their music doesn't grow.


I got dashed hopes, with a sick scheme
With some big doubts, and some big dreams
See the conflict? That’s what this shit means


Therefore, I have this sick scheme that I believe to be fail-proof, but dashed hopes because I don't know how I'll ever make it work when nobody gets it. Then, the rhetorical question 'See the conflict?' As in, you ask why I feel so vulnerable and why I get discouraged despite my self-belief. It's because, in a lot of ways, we're all incapable of articulating our dreams and what we see for ourselves in the future to others. It's one of the most frustrating things I've experienced, akin to having your mouth covered in duct tape when you have all of the answers. Add to it that the negativity that I'm subjected to clashes with the positivity that I try to maintain. And that's ultimately why my dreams are fading. Because of that frustration and those clashing ideals. 

I embody the honesty that you wanted to
Tellin lies when it’s sittin right in front of you
I got mad drive, call it road rage
Rich in love, hoe. Bitch, I’m so paid


I say that you wish you had the honesty that I had. It's always easier for fake people to fabricate. And those are the same ones who hate and spout negativity because they haven't been able to do what you've done. So I've put factual evidence in front of you in the form of this song and album but you still deny the potential. And that only gives me more reason to work at it. To me, the solution to so many of life's problems is just to work harder. Whether that's effective because you actually produce a better product for others or prove to yourself that you won't give up and you've given everything you have, I'm not sure. But I don't really care why either. I just know that working harder even when I feel as though I'm working hard has led to success in so many of the endeavors I've undertaken in life. So I have this 'mad drive' in the sense that my drive is very strong. Taken in the literal sense, a mad driver has 'road rage'. That drive, coupled with the loved ones who have always and will always back me no matter what I do is what makes me unstoppable. Artists like to speak about how much money they have. I've taken that cliche sentiment and say that I'm rich also - but in terms of the value of the love that surrounds me. And that type of wealth is so much more valuable than any monetary possession.

Imperfection is perfect, failure is worth it
The purpose is standing alone on my own
Just so I can make you understand, I’m a man


To end, I summarize what the song and album are about to lead you into the rest of it. I'm not trying to be perfect. I'm not sitting here writing songs about how I have it all. Me creating the music has never been about becoming rich from it or attaining fame. It's about putting myself out there and taking a chance as a human to learn and become a stronger person doing something that many others would be afraid to pursue. So, to me, the fact that I'm imperfect and am honest about it is what makes me perfect to myself and those who enjoy my music. So, even if I fail, it'll all be worth it because I went for it in good faith. I say 'The purpose is standing alone on my own' to further exemplify the way in which I feel so vulnerable and alone putting myself out there and taking this chance. But those feelings are exactly how I know I'm doing something worthwhile and becoming a better person. And I'm doing it all 'Just so I can make you understand, I'm a man'. In one sense, I'm doing it for me to prove to myself that I can do it. In another, I'm doing this for those close to me to serve as inspiration for them to go after their dreams, no matter how unlikely they are. In yet another sense, I'm doing this to prove to listeners that artists can be real and genuine.

It's been some time since we've spoken on a greater than 140 character-level. Therefore, a rundown of both MY thoughts and OUR future plans is in order. In true MBA form, I'll vow to create at least a quarterly report every three months to keep you all informed of where we're at. Now, to review our first quarter together...

November 6th marked the three-month anniversary of Barometer's release. I consider that date to be the day that I was officially born as an artist. For a few reasons. One, our recording and writing process up to that point had been so sporadic that I really never had the opportunity to find out who I was or what I was going to be as an artist. I'd estimate that the album averaged one writing/recording session every six months over a three-year period. I know the math doesn't jive with the album's 12-song count, but many of the album's songs came about just before the release, which I'll explain more in a bit. Two, August 6th was really the first time that we had done anything to promote Drew William. I mean, sure, we may have mentioned the songs I had recorded to friends in passing, but Barometer finally provided us with a tangible product to bring to the masses. Lastly, that date really, for the first time, marked my unwavering confidence that my brother and I could truly compete with anybody in the professional music industry.

Now, to the album. About 2/3 of it was done at least 9 months prior to release date. The final 4 songs were all done within 2 weeks of releasing. How wild is that? That includes Fading Dreams and Hot Shit being recorded 2 weeks in advance and Runaway and So Gone being just 6 days before album release. What's even crazier, as I alluded to earlier, is that I don't think we truly found our sound until those last 2 weeks of recording. That thought drives me each and every day. When you listen to the first song recorded, She Ride, and then listen to the last two recorded, Runaway and So Gone, there's such an undeniable evolution that occurred somewhere in that interim period. Don't get me wrong, I love She Ride and that song will always have a special place in my heart for being the first song I ever officially recorded and remembering the place I was at in life when I wrote it, but we're in a place now as artist and producer that's sonically unique. One thing I've noticed throughout the process of making Barometer is that the comparisons that I heard from people tapered off. When I first started, people used to tell me "Oh, that's good, you sound like ___." Anything from Fabolous to Fort Minor. Hearing that is always a compliment and a diss to me. It's like, oh, you're good enough to accurately bite them, but you're not unique enough to not sound like you're biting them. That's not our goal. What's funny is, I love both of those artists, but I wouldn't call them influences. Whenever a music site asks you who your influences are, I always just put artists that I like. Maybe those are one and the same, but I could never accurately describe who I'm influenced by in music because I don't strive to be influenced. I just take my experiences as an individual and do shit that I like. Maybe you can pick out where I got something from here or there. I don't know. But my taste in music has always been pretty eclectic since I was young. I mean, I grew up listening to, like, records of the Monkeys and shit with my parents. I'll never forget when I was little and ready for bed, my brother and I would always call into a radio station and request "Downtown" by Petula Clark. My favorite song growing up was "Two Faces" by Lou Christie. The first album I ever bought was Phil Collins "Both Sides of the Story." Then I got into the Def Jam era with Jay-Z, Method Man, Redman, DMX because it just embodied that rebellion that I was looking for as a teen. I always say that I think hip-hop is to my generation what rock-n-roll was to my parents'. That's why I always find it humorous that my parents' generation is baffled at us liking hip-hop. Look, we aren't trying to live out some of these actions that they're talking about, we're looking for a release. Just like you were once upon a time. A form of music that your parents' despise because we love to raise a middle finger to authority and have something that's all ours. I'll forever be indebted to hip-hop music for the way that it's made so many bonds with my friends that much tighter. Now, you know, I listen to Jay-Z, Kanye, Drake, all of that currently. But I'm also, like, enamored with the electro singer, Lights. Mayer Hawthorne's stuff has always put me in a unique place. And I love pop music - Katy Perry, Black Eyed Peas, all that shit. So to say that I'm not influenced by any of that is a blatant lie, but I also think that you can attribute what I say as much to the Monkeys as you can to Jay-Z. Getting back to the point, however...now, even though more people have heard my music than ever before, I haven't gotten any of those comparisons since the last leg of the album was recorded. That's a beautiful thing. That's how I know that we've begun to carve out our niche and create something that's sustainable. With that said, the ideation stage of the second project is underway and I will be sure to post updates as we move along.   

In closing, I just want to say that your support for the album has only reinforced my desire to move forward with the music. I think we have some great places yet to go. A huge thank you to my brother, The Therapist, who produced every god damn last track on the album. He makes up AT LEAST half of the team and if I didn't find inspiration in his music, I wouldn't be doing this anymore. Kristen Chase and Rob Chase, who pulled off a phenomenal photo shoot and album design in the 25th hour. Dan Middleton, who recorded and engineered the entire project - big part of our sound and evolution as well. I'll never forget the studio in Fort Wayne where the album was recorded. I won't go any further because the rest of the shout outs I'd like to make go to people who are invaluable and whose roles are undefinable. I hope the words I give to you in person are enough to express my gratitude for your support.


Drew

(Verse 1)

Thoughts runnin' through my mind, Inception design 
I control time, create my own dreams 
Check the uniform, I'm with the road team 
That's the enemy, I do my own thing

These first 4 bars really serve to set the stage for the song as a whole, much like a thesis statement provides the purpose of an academic paper in the first paragraph - The confusion and back and forth that's going on in the individual's mind begins here. "Thoughts runnin' through my mind" is meant to be taken both figuratively and literally. Akin to the premise of the movie inception, I have all of these conflicting thoughts, but there's also a paranoia that an actual person is racing through my mind to plant an idea that's not mine. Then, in the second line, I quickly take back control, vowing to not let anyone else control my time, dreams, or thoughts. Then, being "with the road team" is a metaphor for being the underdog. Nobody thinks that I can take back control of my life and many people have grown to hate me for allowing temptations to become a part of it, as a result of success. But I say that "I do my own thing" as a way of saying that no matter how hated I am, I'm not here to convince people that they should like me, I'm here to do what I believe is best and to act in accordance with what is right and just. Using this metaphor really stemmed from my playing sports growing up. So much of my success in anything in life has been from having a chip on my shoulder and doing what people said that I could not. In that sense, I love the imagery that this line creates in walking into a basketball arena, where every fan is booing you, and knocking down the game winning shot. It's always seemed like sweet justice to me for others having hate for another individual.

Underdog, not supposed to succeed 
Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the plush things 
But more so educated, money's not a motivator 
Tell me how you stop me? Not influenced by how much I'm makin'

Here’s where it’s implied that I let some of the temptations of the “plush things” take over my life as I garnered success. But I dispel the opinion that those are important to me by saying that yes, I enjoy nice things, as they serve as a rewards and reminders of my hard work and what it's taken to get where I’m at. However, in reality, I’m driven entirely by just the opposite. If I lost everything material, it wouldn’t matter. So, it follows that, just like anything, a person who has nothing to lose is in an advantageous position in comparison to their competitors because there are suddenly no other considerations other than attaining the goal. And that’s what I’m saying here – I don’t give a fuck about money, I care about education, knowledge, and power, and I’m going to continue to gain those things at any cost. Just like the many powerful and frightening villains in stories who have lost everything, people can become animals, monsters. So, I say how are you gonna stop my talent and progression in this business when everyone else is doing it to make a living, but I’m doing it to do it and to become great at it.

The result’s a shift in paradigm 
But don't get it flipped, still with a pair of dimes 
They don't get it, I just did it for the opposite 
Tried to be a prophet, but somehow, I profited

So, now a paradigm shift has occurred, as a result of my assumptions about the world and what's right being altered, with my newfound attitude that I no longer care about the money, I only care about being great, the entire landscape of not only my world, but the world of music/hip-hop has shifted with my shift in thought and what I've decided to become. In the very next line, I shift back once again and tell you that it’s true, I’m not about the material things. but I’m also not trying to say that I’m a saint, because I still and will continue to hang out with beautiful women and enjoy life, all while doing the right thing. I think that it's important to have outlets and things that make you happy, to keep you sane and prevent you from becoming callous. In line 3, even though I’m acknowledging the truth of my previous statement, I make it clear that even though I enjoy those things, it wasn’t my intention that in gaining success I would gain all of these residual luxuries. I was just trying to be a free thinker, somebody that was innovative and who drives discussion forward (a prophet), but somehow, I just received more tangible accolades in the form of money and women than the intangible things I intended to capture – success, pride, a sense of accomplishment. This back and forth serves to confuse and show just how fucked up this individual’s perspective and thought process is at the moment.

Now the money is all here to breed hate 
And I just wanna give it back, rebate 
If I could have you in my arms, I'd be straight 
All the memories erased to have a clean slate

Despite my good intentions, now the money is all here and a vicious, perpetual cycle has begun. I have all of this money and recognition, and regardless of whether or not it’s real or sustainable, everybody has the perception that I have it all, which will breed jealousy, which breeds hate. So now, I just want to give it back because it’s not worth the trouble that comes with it all. Just like a rebate in which you receive money back, I want to give everything back for my original self and for a change back to the way things used to be. What follows is the introduction of another important part of the storyteller’s past – a woman whom he loves. This serves to imply that he had to give up this woman’s love in pursuit of his goals, and now that he’s obtained his goals, he is remorseful for ever putting them above the person that he cared most about. And he despises his once passion now, because it cost him his chance at love. This introduction of the woman’s role hits on two very interesting points. 1. Distinguishing between love and lust. Lust is often appealing, until we no longer have love. And when we have love, we don’t appreciate it. In all reality, it seems that there’s no perfect balance of the two. Some married couples are miserable because their relationship no longer has the passion and fire. Some just need change because they get uninterested or curious. But many single people are miserable as well because everyone has an intrinsic need for the affection a significant other can give them. There’s no perfect solution to this, which is why I often have a pessimistic view on marriage, though would never dispel the notion that I may one day get married. 2. The inevitable trade-off between having a healthy relationship and having a fulfilling life outside of it. This is something I’ve had trouble dealing with as I’ve gotten better and better jobs and now moved to pursue a master’s degree that will set me up on a great career path for the rest of my life. But at what cost? I can name myriad sacrifices I’m making simply to attend school – money, professional experience, happiness, familiarity, comfort, and most importantly, time with my loved ones, whether it be friends, family, or a girlfriend. I ask myself often if being away at school is worth it. But the point isn’t to decide whether or not it is, or ultimately will be, because I may never know. The point is to acknowledge this imperfect tradeoff that most of us have to make. In my case, it’s whether to stay close to loved ones to spend my life with them at a job that will never make me happy, or to move away and have a job that makes me happy, but only have the opportunity to see my loved ones 2 or 3 times a year.

(Chorus)
All alone now, I can feel it 
With every gift, a curse, it's no secret 
Pressure's on me, the pain deepens 
Make you question all that you believe in
So what do you believe in? 
Huh? Baby I believe in the mental 
Aw, I'm caught up in the mental 
Aw, I'm so lost in the mental

As I gain more and more success and material things, I become more and more alone. It’s this gift of being talented and the gifts in the form of luxuries that are proving to be unanticipated curses. Further, with more and more success comes more and more pressure to perform. If you set a high standard, you have to live up to it. But if your passion or desire to succeed waivers, what do you do? And so the pain deepens when you can’t live up to expectations as you’ve disappointed yourself and those depending on you, which turns into hate for what you couldn’t do and what you used to be able to do. And it’s that cycle, those relationships, that make you begin to question the ways of the world. In logic, the more successful you become and more good that you do for others, the easier things should become. But it’s quite the opposite, oftentimes, a la, "more money, more problems." It’s that realization that makes you jaded and begins to break you down, "question all that you believe in." This ends with being caught up in "the mental," or my own thoughts, both literally, like Inception, and figuratively. When you see things you don’t think are fair or right, like the illogical relationship I just stated, you begin to lose confidence in what you were taught growing up. This is the narrator succumbing to that realization and that pain that comes with it throughout the song.

(Verse 2)
I'm all caught in all the tumult and torment 
So now I'm just prayin' that the storm ends 
Damn, my tempest has a temper 
All the memories, I don't wanna remember

This is a representation of the conflict that I’m dealing with. I’m caught in the middle of a storm, conflicting desires, and I’m done taking intiative. Sometimes, the storm is so strong, that all you can do is let it pass, rather than fight back. Then, I say “my tempest has a temper.” This is meant to be open to interpretation. My tempest could be my internal struggle, it could be the woman I alluded to earlier, it could be karma, or it could be all of them tormenting me at the same time. Nonetheless, saying my tempest has a temper is meant to personify  the storm, to mean that not only is it ultra intense, but that it also seeks vengeance for my past actions, my penitence is not enough, it's taking a personal vendetta against me to make sure that I suffer. Finally, I say that I don’t want to remember. This is an allusion both back to the woman I was talking about earlier and me wanting to start over in general. Without acknowledging the lessons I’ve learned from the pain, I’m just willing to erase it all to escape the current suffering. This thought is kind of driven by the fact that it’s so easy for people to be unappreciative of what they have until the reaper is at their doorstep. I can specifically reference a few encounters in my life in which I had lost sight of my blessing and was then thrust into a crisis, and I can remember, literally, uncontrollably saying “Please, God, please don’t let this happen.” Those are the moments that we find our true character. This is an example of someone who’s willing to do anything, even erase all of the memories that got him to where he’s at now, in order to make the current pain stop. That’s not sacrifice, but it’s a natural inkling that we have as humans.
  
I set fire to the images, we were so intimate 
They burn, but no way I'm forgettin' 'em 
All along, I thought I was so disciplined 
But, the more you know, the quicker you stop listenin'

We now move onto burning the images. It’s said in a tangible sense of actually setting fire to the images, but it’s meant to mean that I’m setting fire to the memories in my head to get rid of them. Then, intimacy is an allusion to the woman, now jumping from thought to thought schizophrenically. They burn, but they aren’t forgotten. This brings the concept full-circle as it lets you know I’m now talking about memories I was trying to burn or forget in my head, not real pictures. These images are actually now burned into my memory, and so, setting them on fire does no good. They’re there forever. But there’s also a sense of revenge in my voice. When I say “no way I’m forgettin’ ‘em,” it’s almost like I’m speaking to those in my past that wronged me and are the source of those images and am going to use the memories as motivation. This is in line with the Drew William character, who has a chip on his shoulder. Then I say “all along, I thought I was so disciplined,” this alludes to how most of us walk blindly through life thinking that we’re doing the right thing, when in fact, we aren’t. As I mentioned earlier, one’s perception is their reality. Something, I’ve picked up from business school is just how important experiencing other perspectives are. This is a perfect example, having those perspectives allows you to assess yourself more objectively and accurately. But in this song, I’m all alone, and I thought I was disciplined doing the right things, but here I am at the end of the road and I made all of these mistakes, I became the person I didn’t want to become. And it’s all because of this natural inclination to stop listening when you think you know it all. That’s one of the reasons why knowledge is a dangerous thing. Because it, often times, breeds complacency. Once you’re dubbed an "expert" on something, it’s difficult to maintain your desire to learn, because you’re the “expert” so, what do you have to learn from other non-experts? This is so very relevant in anything from politics to academia.

The alcohol just serves as a conduit 
The pain's comin' through, I stop, I can't do it 
A couple blondes can calm the nerves through him 
Either love what you're doin, or it's love you're pursuin'

And so here now, another temptation enters. Alcohol. I say it serves as a conduit. It makes me start to reveal some of my pain publicly. There’s usually always pain behind the fame and fortune that’s held in with celebrities. This is the same thing. You begin to sense some relief here as Drew is finally letting it all out. That’s the best way to deal with pain - to confront it and be honest with it. Just like how when you cried when you were little and your mom would say “Just let it out.” But then, just when you think Drew’s going to make a breakthrough, he pulls back, puts his guard back up, and says that’s he’s not ready yet. He then goes back to the same temptations and vices that he’s needed all along to help him deal with this pain as “a couple blondes can calm the nerves through him.” He’s made some progress throughout the record, but isn’t quite ready to take the final step. Finally, the last line in this stanza may be my favorite line that I've ever written. I think it perfectly encompasses the argument that I alluded to earlier. Nearly all of us are forced to make a decision about pursuing our career or dreams in some capacity or something more pure and sustainable, like love. Whether that be the love of a woman, or love of family and friends. Very few people have both - think about the people in your life. This is the tradeoff I’ve yet to come to grips with. Am I supposed to make myself happy during the day by working in a career that I like, or make myself happy the rest of the time by being around the people I love. Everybody’s answer is different, and for me and many others, I don’t know that there’s a correct one.
  
Tried to get both, it was all for naught 
She left me all alone, on my own, I thought 
But with great understanding comes great responsibility 
Now look how my abilities are fuckin' with me mentally

So, I reveal now that what got me to my current predicament is that I wasn’t able to choose one or the other. I tried to pursue my career and dreams and maintain my relationship with the woman whom a cared about, but it didn’t matter, because it’s impossible. And so, because I couldn’t fully commit to her, she left me all alone and on my own. Or, so I thought. This is meant to be another glimmer of hope as I say this because it’s indicative of my realizing that it wasn’t completely for naught, because I gained strength through abandonment. She left me alone, but I’m beginning to see the positive in these trials, things weren’t as they initially appeared. But with this understanding and ability to process complexity, comes an increased pressure in coming to grips with just how fucked up the world is. And so, really, it’s my ability to understand complexity and the mental aptitude that allows me to do so that’s “fuckin’ with me.” Because the ability serves to make me great and successful and you would think that someone like me has it all figured out. But, in fact, I'm only more confused and tortured than I was growing up, when I didn't have anything of my own and didn't have the ability to be good at mental tasks. It's the old adage of ignorance is bliss. The people I blamed earlier are still the source, but this shows an understanding that I have the capability to not allow others to affect me. This sets a nice note to end on leading into verse 3. I’m beginning to understand and am poised to break through.
  
(Verse 3)
See, they can box me in, what, try to define me
All of us have a chance, a moment to redefine us
I'm on my way up, to stay up, I'm climbin'
This is my progression, you'd think that I designed it

That brings us to verse 3. I love this verse – the aggressiveness, the cadence, the meaning, everything. Right from the jump, I begin to tear away the shackles that have burdened me, you can hear it in my voice. I acknowledge that when you’re successful, you under a microscope and everybody tries to define you or box you in without knowing much about you in reality. I truly and honestly believe that there are no more than 3 or 4 people on this earth that really know what I'm about. A couple of friends, maybe, and then my brother and parents. But sometimes, I even question whether they really know what I'm about. But here are my motivational words – all of us have an opportunity, whether it’s a moment, several events, or the rest of our lifetime to redefine who we are. No matter what your past is, you’ll have a shot at redemption or truth, to let everyone know the true you. So this is my ascension, to stay up. I continue to climb, vowing never to stoop to the levels that I had previously. The way that I’m ascending, with ease and rapidity, you would think that I completely re-seized control of my dream that the others were controlling before. It’s such a great break through, in fact, that you would think that I am charting this path sans any constraints. I’ve, in a sense, woken up from the dream and rid myself of those who were in my head, both figuratively and literally, attempting to plant an idea.

They can plant the seeds of self-doubt
Make it rain to grow, but I make it a drought
From no appetite, they turned me into a glutton
Now I'm only gettin' stronger with age, Benjamin Button

More motivational words. They can plant the seeds of self-doubt, just like they plant an idea in the movie, and it manifests. Meaning, you’re always going to have those people trying to make you doubt yourself, it’s a condition you have to live with in order to succeed.  I then, parallel the next line to the expression “make it rain.” They plant the idea, much like you would an actual flower. This doubt then causes you to succumb to temptation, in this case, “making it rain” with money and being involved in the lifestyle. Giving into that temptation begins a downward spiral. So that’s how the act of “making it rain” figuratively makes the idea grow, just as real rain makes a flower grow. But then I say, I’m refusing to let that happen as I “make it a drought.” That means I’m no longer giving into temptation, no longer allowing the self-doubt that they planted to fester. The third line then circles back to what I alluded to earlier – when one’s back is against the wall and his/her only motivation is accomplishing the goal, not any tangible reward, that person becomes an animal, a monster, almost unstoppable. So this is to say, I didn’t have the appetite to continue to succeed, I had no reason to go after “it,” whatever “it” may be. But, as a result of the hating and the negativity, the critics turned me from someone who had no desire to eat, to someone who eats just for the sake of eating, a dominant force. And now that you turned me into an insatiable glutton, I’m only going to continue to get stronger, because I remember the memories and the words I heard. This is a turning point, as I'm using the same memories that caused me pain earlier, into a positive source of motivation. So, instead of growing old and losing steam, as time passes, I’m only getting smarter, more talented, and more hungry, aging in reverse, like Benjamin Button.  
  
At my heart strings they pull, I feel 'em tuggin'
Emotions to the side, sometimes I say "Fuck it"
My ethos are froze, I'm not budgin'
The high price of fame just doesn't fit my budget

I still have these emotions stemming from  the mistakes I made, the woman I lost, etc. that I still can feel and which are pulling at me. I use the word heart in many of my songs. That's because I think that it's the one thing that each person has that's pure and true. Even for a criminal, their mind could be in a different place. But no matter what action their undertaking, they know deep down in their heart that what they're doing isn't right, they just aren't able to channel that inkling. I think the heart encompasses, in many ways, our purpose in life, and if we're more in touch with it, than our mind, we'll do the right thing. And so, the concept translates well in each of my songs, whether I'm talking about love or anything else. But this is me putting the past behind me and saying that I’m not going to let those things affect me any more, I’m pushing them to the side. Sometimes in life, you have no reasoning to support your logic, but you just have to say “fuck it” to get past an obstacle or do something that needs to be done. I say “my ethos are froze” to indicate that even though I went through these experiences and made some poor choices, my values are now solidified in doing good, unable to be changed, regardless of what temptation or deterrence you throw in front of me, “I’m not budgin’.” For all of the luxuries that come with fame, I mean to say that the price is too high because of what you must sacrifice. My budget has an allowance of only so far that I can push my values before I consider something to be wrong or unjust, and fame pushes past that boundary, so I’m no longer pursuing it.

She left her scent to haunt me, her love assaults me
But now I see the feelings were faulty
Never again, I promise, my honesty is a part of me
I oughta be the shit, but this is just who I've gotta be

That brings us to the last hump I have to get over, the woman who left me. I still remember her scent as if she just left moments ago. She’s my temptress, my "tempest" that I mention earlier. It’s as if she’s still near, just taunting me by leaving her scent to be a constant reminder of the mistakes I made and the sacrifices I wasn’t willing to make. And so, in that way, her love, which I could have had, "assaults" or punishes me every day with the thought of what could have been.
But in the next line, I gain that strength and courage back as I realize that I just need to say “fuck it.” If I was meant to be with her, I would be, regardless of the circumstances. So, I acknowledge that my feelings for her were actually faulty and I never really loved her, that’s the true reason why I was never able to commit to her.  But then I say, “never again, I promise,” meaning, never will I ever again lie and convince myself that I have feelings for a woman when I know deep down that I don’t. I was longing for nothing, in reality. And so, “my honesty is a part of me.” Another reference to staying true to my values and indicating that I have to be true and honest with myself before anyone else. Finally, I say “I oughta be the shit, but this is just who I’ve gotta be.” This serves to indicate that I’ve gained or have the potential to gain success and fortune and people see me and think that I’m “the shit” and have a great life, without knowing the pain and memories that I bear. I’m just like any other person. So I finally break and say, regardless of what everyone thinks, regardless of what’s cool, popular, regardless of what expectations accompany my reputation, I have to be true to myself. That last line is meant to be the take-away from this song. It gives you Drew William dealing with many of the same doubts that every one of us deal with on a continuous basis. He’s emotional, he’s confused, he’s questioning, even though he’s the one behind the microphone that, presumably, lives the life of an entertainer. But he’s just like everyone else. And he arrives at peace with his mistakes by realizing that he can atone for them and learn from the past to be the man who he wants to become, rather than allowing the past to define him.

The Mental
For my first real entry, I'm going to dissect my recently released song "The Mental."  To provide some background...like every other song on this page, the track was produced by my brother - The Therapist. And that's blood brother for those who don't know. To me, this song is undoubtedly the most introspective of any I've ever written. The subject matter is deep, emotional, and complex and it really reflects my current outlook on life and some of my recent experiences.

It's told from the perspective of an individual who's lost in many ways. His thought process is almost schizophrenic in the way that he jumps from thought to thought and emotion to emotion. The subject matter is meant to be complex and difficult to navigate through as it's a representation of the pain and confusion that I feel sometimes. However, the listener is rewarded for his/her sticking around through the frustration by the breakthrough I have at the end in which I finally shed the shackles.

What this song is ultimately about is the constant conflict we experience as humans, and the ways in which that conflict intensifies as we become more successful. I then attempt to weave in some of the associated sacrifices we are forced to make on a continuous basis. There are underlying tones of greed, love, lust, pain, uncertainty, and ambition, among others.

I think my brother did a phenomenal job in creating this track and it really plays off of my concept in its repeating, harmonious chords that really surround the listener and make him/her feel confused and almost disoriented, with lack of direction. One of the influences for the concept was the movie "Inception." I've always felt like I've been my own worst enemy in over-analyzing situations and becoming so aware of my surroundings that it's become a fault. And so, the movie really hit home with me, because it was a perfect communication of the very real principal that perception is reality. This is one place where I've integrated some of my inspiration drawn from business as an MBA candidate in my increasing awareness of what distinguishes perception from reality through my marketing studies. But, you know, it's human nature to believe our perceptions, and that's where we run into the self-destructive behavior that keeps us from being our best selves.

And so, this song is told from my perspective as someone who, as I get older and understand more complexity, is only becoming more jaded about how fucked up the world and the people in it really are. But, a positive to having that understanding is that it's proven to be unbelievably motivating in wanting to be unlike what I've seen, and to be a genuinely good and selfless person. And that's what I really want to shine through in the story is that we have this man who's dealing with all of these things and, admittedly, isn't perfect, but has a pure heart and wants to do good. So, at the end, I ultimately deal with the pressures in my own way. But really, it's a never-ending battle with ourselves that we can lead, but never win.

Hello, world!

I certainly appreciate you visiting my site and my blog, whether it be out of support or just curiosity.  I'd like for the blog to serve two principal purposes: 1. To learn about me as an artist 2. To learn about me as a person. I hope to accomplish these objectives by writing about anything from the meaning behind my songs and lyrics to happenings in the world and my perspective. 

I've always made an effort to understand my favorite artists as people, beyond musicians.  Reason being, I've found that by doing so, I'm able to more thoroughly understand the "why" of the decisions they make in subject matter, lyrics, cadence, presentation, etc. I also think that what, many times, gets lost in the minds of listeners is that the artist and the person are two different people.  This is especially the case in hip-hop and with many of the strong pop personalities as well.  I've gained an increased understanding of this through studying other artists and experiencing life as an artist myself. In fact, Jay-Z describes the distinction exceptionally well in his new book Decoded.

For those who know Jay-Z from afar, I think so many view his talent, even after acknowledging him as one of the very best rappers of all time, as marginal.  To me, that's just a product of personal preference and preconceptions about rapping. Many view it as being a less-skilled art than, say, the song writing that a Taylor Swift might do.  Those people haven't attempted to write a hip-hop song or rap, I assure you.  But my point in all this is to say that by solely knowing the artist, Jay-Z, and not the person, Sean Carter, I can understand from a certain perspective why non-hip-hop fans might think that it doesn't take much to succeed in.

However, if you know anything about Sean Carter, the man behind the artist, you know just how well-rounded and skilled he is.  He is truly a world-class mind, not just in comparison to other rappers or musicians.  For example, he was reading at something like a 12th grade level in the 5th grade.  And it's no coincidence that he's developed into an extremely astute businessman.  He has superb decision-making skills, instincts, and charisma.  He's calculating and sharp and the CEO of any company in the world would be thrilled to have his ability to communicate.  But only by knowing that side of the man do I believe that one can truly appreciate the character he's developed in Jay-Z.  To me, there's no other way to describe it than sheer brilliance. 

With that, my only hope with this blog is that I'm able to establish the link between Drew, the man, and Drew William, the artist.  Once you have that understanding, you'll understand what the creative content on this page means and why I do what I do.


Cheers!
Drew